I have enough porn to rival that of a pirated DVD shop. My favourite is Japanese porn, which I download and burn on blank discs.

It was never an issue with my ex-lovers (some enjoyed porn as much as I do), but my current girlfriend of two years was brought up in a conservative household. I’m not sure what she would say if she ever stumbles upon Home But Not Alone or Womb Raider in my room.

I cannot leave the discs unlabelled because she might accidentally take one and use it. So keeping my porn collection under wraps is a problem.

But I’ve recently thought of a new solution: I label all my DVDs with work-related titles like “Meeting Minutes (January 2008)” or “Project Schedule (Excel File)” and keep them locked in a drawer. I tell her I’m backing up these highly confidential files for work. Not a foolproof plan, but it’s been working well so far! - Nick*, 33, who works in advertising

The counsellor says With such a huge collection, and judging by the time and work Nick puts into his “hobby”, I’d say he has a porn addiction. Porn degrades women, supports the separation between love and sex, and takes away from the intimacy of a relationship. It’s about a person getting sexual satisfaction apart from his partner. If Nick plans to have an intimate relationship with his girlfriend, he needs to be honest with her, and they need to decide what is acceptable based on their boundaries. - Ho Shee Wai, director/psychologist at The Counselling Place

The private investigator says Nick would rather hide his porn because it’s more efficient than talking through the problem. It doesn’t mean it’s morally right (in fact, he must know it is wrong - possession of porn is a crime in Singapore).

If women want to snoop through their partners’ things, the principle is they must look in places they would normally never look. A lot of men conceal stuff in places like their offices, lockers at the gym or country club, or even in small crevices in their cars.” - Jeffery Ang, private investigator and principal consultant at Catchalie Consultancy

>> Part 2 >> 3 >> 4 >> 5 >> 6 >> 7

Get a copy of the March 2010 issue of Her World, Singapore’s No. 1 women’s magazine. Her World, published by SPH Magazines, is available at all newsstands now. Jaclyn Lim, Angeline Tse, Zarelda Marie Goh & Gladys Chung are  features writers with Her World magazine by SPH Magazines. Check out more stories at Her World online, www.herworld.com