There is a reason why I look forward to in-camp reservist training - lup sup (or “dirty”) KTV bars. Many times, although my campmates and I can book out, we don’t go straight home. Instead, we ring our other halves to tell them: “Honey, I won’t be able to book out tonight... yes... I miss you, but there’s going to be a live firing exercise early tomorrow.”

Then, we head out for some not-so-innocent fun. During our last training camp, five of us booked out at 5.30pm and went to a KTV lounge in the Outram area. We opened bottles of whisky and called some mainland Chinese girls into the room. We paid the girls $50 each to sit down with us. Those who wanted “extra services” paid more.

Usually, we spend about $400 on alcohol, excluding tips for the girls. If we get drunk, we don’t go back home; we can just head to camp and sleep it off.

Besides KTV bars, we also visit other lup sup places. Once, when our full-day briefing ended early at 2pm, we went for a massage at a “health centre” in Chinatown (extra services included). I have campmates who use that extra time to go to Geylang, but I would never go as far as to have sex with a prostitute because I still love my family.

I visit these lup sup places only during reservist training. To me, the KTV sessions are just some naughty fun on the side. - Jerry*, 36, an IT consultant married for five years, with a two-year-old child

The counsellor says: If Jerry came to see me, I’d ask him what was wrong with his sex life. If your spouse is able to satisfy you, would you still feel a hunger? I think not. My advice for people like Jerry is to think beyond the “I” and focus on what’s good for the relationship.

You may have to do things you don’t like to do if you want to please your partner. This is more than just about compromise; it’s about sacrifice. - Charles Lee, senior counsellor at Tanjong Pagar Family Service Centre

The private investigator says: A common sign of deception is vagueness, like when Jerry says he has a live firing exercise “early tomorrow”. No time is mentioned - the liar doesn’t want to be specific in case he is challenged, so he can try to worm his way out. He also says, “I miss you” as a precursor to justify the lie. - Jeffery Ang

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Get a copy of the March 2010 issue of Her World, Singapore’s No. 1 women’s magazine. Her World, published by SPH Magazines, is available at all newsstands now. Jaclyn Lim, Angeline Tse, Zarelda Marie Goh & Gladys Chung are features writers with Her World magazine by SPH Magazines. Check out more stories at Her World online, www.herworld.com