Six years ago, a friend who was a social escort passed one of his clients to me after he retired. I was in the events management industry, so I jumped at the chance to make extra cash. Plus, I love women and having sex.

All it took was my first experience with a sophisticated woman in her 40s from Hong Kong to get me hooked. I made a cool $1,200 wining and dining her. (Okay, we had sex, too.)

She enjoyed my company and recommended me to friends. Soon, I was meeting women from Hong Kong, China and Japan. They were in their 30s and early 40s, and some were married. I never knew what they did for a living or why they were in Singapore, but they certainly had loads of money, taking me to swanky restaurants and high society parties, and on shopping sprees. We would also get intimate in their luxurious hotel rooms.

I never once felt like a toy boy. I was there to make easy money and the sex was just a bonus. Some of my friends knew about my “sideline” - they were envious about the money I was pulling in and joked that they wanted to be gigolos, too.

A year and a half later, I gave up the job because I started a relationship. I changed my phone number so my clients could not contact me. I came clean with my girlfriend but she couldn’t accept it, and we broke up.

After that, I became very selective about revealing my past. I’m now in a loving relationship with another woman who accepts my past. Now, cheating would never cross my mind.

I don’t regret being an escort but wouldn’t do it again. - Jason*, 36, in the media industry

The counsellor says People need to realise that in a relationship, it’s up to the individual to tell and share his or her stories. It’s more important to build trust by showing that you are caring and understanding, so that your partner shares voluntarily - this is more meaningful than forcing the truth out of him. When people feel secure enough, they will have nothing to hide. The ideal situation is one in which two mature and understanding people can tell each other everything, so they grow closer. Allowing yourself to be vulnerable will enable the other party to get to know you better. - Charles Lee

The private investigator says When getting to know your partner, don’t ask direct questions because he will be on his guard. Instead, use indirect ways to get him to reveal his views, and things he has done in the past. For instance, in this case, you could mention that your colleagues have heard of men entertaining women for a living - then see what he says. Or you could make extreme statements to provoke a response, which is a technique called “pricking”. If he keeps changing the topic, he may have skeletons in his closet. And if something arouses your suspicions, take the trouble to find out - search blogs, social networking sites, chatrooms and forums. But remember that the information on the Internet may not be based on facts; you must still verify it to get the truth. - Jeffery Ang