My wife and I have great sex, especially on romantic getaways to places like Bali. But after two years of marriage, the sex has become predictable.

So I have webcam sex with other women. I find myself creating excuses to stay home alone up to two nights a week, usually when she is out with friends or having dinner at her parents’ place - I’d say I’m tired or am rushing a report - to have webcam sex with the different local women I meet online.

They can be random Facebook friends or acquaintances I know I won’t bump into in person. It usually starts with long MSN chats before I start talking dirty (“I’m feeling horny and my wife is not around... you?”). If the woman reciprocates, I will ask if she is open to having webcam sex. When they say yes, it’s like watching a porno (naked women on screen!), except it’s live and just for me. Of course, I will return the favour and get naked, too.

At any one time, I have two to three regular webcam sex partners. I enjoy the thrill of cheating without being physically unfaithful to someone I love.

As long as my wife doesn’t find out, I don’t think I will ever stop. After all, I will never meet up with any of these women for real sex - no matter how tempted I may be. - Mike*, 33, laboratory supervisor

The counsellor says: Eighty per cent of my male clients engage in virtual sex, and they say it is technically not cheating. But it is. In these cases, there is usually an underlying problem between the couple that can’t be discussed, which has led to the cheating. Mike should choose a good time to talk to his wife. He needs to give her some indication that there is trouble first, before he reveals the shocking truth. - Premela Ramachandran, psychotherapist at The Counselling Room

The private investigator says: Remember that people are creatures of habit, and his regular webcam partners will have fixed schedules. So if Mike repeatedly gives excuses to stay home, you’ll see a pattern. Asking innocent questions like “Did you manage to complete the report?” can test his truthfulness. His Internet history will also tell you which sites he’s visited and when. If he’s taken the precaution of erasing the history, you have even more reason to suspect he’s up to no good. - Jeffery Ang

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Get a copy of the March 2010 issue of Her World, Singapore’s No. 1 women’s magazine. Her World, published by SPH Magazines, is available at all newsstands now. Jaclyn Lim, Angeline Tse, Zarelda Marie Goh & Gladys Chung are features writers with Her World magazine by SPH Magazines. Check out more stories at Her World online, www.herworld.com