When my wife suggested Japan for our honeymoon three years ago, I was more than happy. She was looking forward to the beautiful scenery and fantastic shopping; I was enthusiastic about another attraction - the prostitutes I’d heard so much about from my male friends. I’d visited hookers before, but Japanese ones were supposed to be the best. It may have been on my honeymoon but this was just too good an opportunity to pass up.

I couldn’t get away from my wife for most of the trip. On the second last day, I was so desperate, I asked the tour guide if he could arrange for some me-time with a local prostitute. He was shocked and refused. But I persisted and after I slipped him US$500, he relented.

The next day, he set up a night market outing. My wife was so excited, she didn’t argue when I said I felt unwell and wouldn’t be joining them.

After she left, I arranged for the hooker to meet me in my hotel room, where we had sex before my wife returned. I knew I wouldn’t be caught because the shopping trip was scheduled to last at least three hours. The excitement of having sex with another woman on the bed I was sharing with my wife made the whole experience even better. Till today, my wife still doesn’t know. - Paul*, 33, entrepreneur

The counsellor says

Most people expect exclusivity in marriage, especially when it comes to sexual intimacy. It is clear that Paul doesn’t value these marital boundaries. The fact that he derived excitement from having sex with the prostitute on the bed he shares with his new wife, and was feeling smug about the fact that she didn’t know, indicates some underlying anger and resentment towards his wife. It seems like he’s metaphorically giving her the finger. His initial distress at not being able to fulfil his fantasy also raises questions about sexual addiction. He’s under the delusion that what his wife doesn’t know won’t hurt, but he does not understand that the damage to the relationship and to his wife has already occurred, regardless of whether she knows or not. - Charles Lee

The private investigator says

Out of all these case studies, Paul is the only one who has not shown any self-restraint or set any boundaries. If his wife had suspected something was amiss, she could have cut short her shopping trip to take him by surprise, on the pretext of wanting to look after him. But if she had no idea, upon returning, she could ask him questions like “How are you feeling? What have you been doing for the last three hours?” If he is guilty, he might get defensive. Every action leaves a trail. In this case, the tour guide was a witness. And there are CCTV cameras on every floor of the hotel. - Jeffery Ang

1<< 2<< 3<< Part 4<<

>> Part 6 >> 7

Get a copy of the March 2010 issue of Her World, Singapore’s No. 1 women’s magazine. Her World, published by SPH Magazines, is available at all newsstands now. Jaclyn Lim, Angeline Tse, Zarelda Marie Goh & Gladys Chung are  features writers with Her World magazine by SPH Magazines. Check out more stories at Her World online, www.herworld.com