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updated 24 Dec 2010, 19:53
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Wed, Jul 07, 2010
The New Paper
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Grandmas fight over baby
by Crystal Chan

A TUSSLE is breaking out between the grandmothers of a baby allegedly abandoned by his mother last Thursday.

The mother had left the four-month-old at a bus stop on Ang Mo Kio  Avenue 5. She was arrested nearby on suspicion of consuming drugs.

As she is undergoing psychiatric examination at the Institute of Mental Health, the  oy’s grandmothers are arguing over the right to care for him. The boy is now  in the care of the Ministry of Community Development, Youth and Sports.

Speaking to The New Paper at her five-room Marsiling flat, the boy’s paternal  grandmother, said in Mandarin: “My son wants to play his role as a father, and since I’m the baby’s grandmother, I’ll of course do my best to raise him. But we’ll just have to wait for the next step since the baby is in the care of MCYS.”

The parties involved cannot be identified.

The baby’s father, 34, is an odd-job worker. He also has a seven-year-old boy with  he baby’s mother, who is his live-in girlfriend. As the 64-year-old housewife  spoke, the older boy pranced around the flat happily, oblivious to what had happened to the family.

She said: “I’ve been caring for the older boy and the baby. Why should I want to  give up on the baby, especially when his mother appears to be emotionally  unstable?”

She claimed that in the 11 years that the couple lived with her and her husband,  the baby’s mother tried to hurt herself twice.

She said: “The first attempt was in 2001 when we were living in Ang Mo Kio. She  told me she was troubled and didn’t want to live. She revealed she had swallowed some medicine. I rushed home and took her to a hospital to cleanse her  stomach.”

Then last year, the woman threw a tantrum and cut herself.

The paternal grandmother also cited other instances of the woman’s erratic  behaviour, adding: “She once insisted on taking her elder son to the playground in the middle of the night. When I told her not to do so, she began screaming.

“That’s why I don’t trust her to be a good mother. I want to raise my grandsons till they are old enough to look after themselves.”

The woman had not married the boys’ father as she was married to her second  husband, who is in jail.

The grandmother said: “When my son brought her home, neither of them told me she was married to someone else.

“Months before she gave birth to the older boy, I told her to marry my son soon.
At that point, she revealed her marital status. I was shocked, but there was  nothing I could do.”

She claimed the woman finalised her divorce last year.

The woman’s mother, however, told Shin Min Daily News that her “in-laws” never  took good care of her daughter.

She said: “They never bought any diapers for the baby and the man refused to be named as the father in the baby’s birth certificate.

“So what right do they have to care for the baby?”

The baby’s father admitted to Lianhe Wanbao that he did not sign the birth certificate, saying it was a private matter. But he said he loves the baby. He was not home when The New Paper visited yesterday.

The woman’s mother told Shin Min that her baby grandson was scheduled to undergo surgery for kidney complications he was born with.

But the boy’s father and paternal grandmother feel the baby is too small for an operation. She said the older boy was also born with kidney complications but had recovered after taking Chinese medicine.

Footing the bill
The maternal grandmother said she would foot the bill for the surgery. She wanted the baby to be released to her so the operation can proceed.

Asked about the accusation that she did not care for the baby’s mother, the  paternal grandmother said: “I do her laundry, I cook for her and I look after her children. She never lifted a finger to do the chores. And when she was unwell, I  gave her money to see a doctor.”

She claimed she has got nothing back from the woman and her own son.

She said: “She never worked and my son doesn’t have a regular income. I rely on  my other four children to support me financially.”

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This article was first published in The New Paper.

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