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Diva
updated 24 Dec 2010, 16:35
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Sun, Sep 12, 2010
The Star/ANN
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I hate my baby

I AM 32 and have been married for seven years. I have two boys. One is four and the other is seven months old.

I know I should be grateful for my kids. There are so many women who cannot have children and I should feel blessed.

However, it has been over half a year since the birth of my baby and I still do not feel as if things are right. I have been miserable since the day he was born.

My mood constantly changes. I may feel happy, but that feeling can change just moments later.

It seems like my baby is always wailing for my attention, even if I leave him alone for a few seconds to get food for his brother. He wants to be held and rocked all the time!

I barely have time for anything else. I try to do housework but I can’t because he will start crying the moment I put him down.

Sometimes, I think I actually hate my baby and I hate myself for it. I feel horrible because of my anger towards him and myself. Everytime I hear him cry, I just want to explode.

Most of the time, I feel scared and angry when I’m with my son. The odd thing is, I am also fearful whenever someone else is with him. I find that I don’t seem to have any maternal feelings for him.

What is wrong with me? I wonder if it could be postnatal depression.

But I was fine after the birth of my four-year-old. In fact, I was extremely happy and didn’t feel the anger that I now feel. Please help!

Depressed Mum

YOU need to talk to someone who understands. Consult your medical specialist as post-partum depression cannot be ignored. Do not try to handle this all by yourself. Your husband must be made aware of the situation.

Perhaps you should get someone to be in the house with you, help with the chores and take care of your baby. Or, consider sending your child to a babysitter, and only have him home when your husband is around to help you.

Take time off when you feel angry and pressured. Never allow your rage to control your mind.

A baby will always cry and want care and attention. When you feel that you cannot deal with it, you must not be alone with your baby. Postnatal depression can push mothers beyond limits, so seek help immediately.

A mother can never hate her child. You love your baby, so do not feel guilty about your feelings which are now not within your control. Depression is not a conscious state of mind, it is an illness that needs to be treated.

Do not be afraid to talk to others – check out the Internet for support groups who can share their experiences. Do not feel that you are all alone.

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