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updated 10 Jan 2011, 14:42
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Mon, Nov 09, 2009
The New Paper
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Your neighbour is a mistress
by Crystal Chan

AMONG the usual flyers and unsolicited junk mail, residents of a Tanah Merah condominium received a surprise last week.

It came in the form of a letter with the intriguing title: 'Open Daylight Robbery of Student's Father.'

It alleged that one of their neighbours was having an affair with a married man.

Last Wednesday, each of the more than 200 apartments there received the two-page typed letter in their letter boxes.

Claiming to be one of the man's three children, the letter writer said the woman, 39, had befriended their father while teaching at a kindergarten that the children attended eight years ago.

The writer claimed in the letter that their father became attracted to the woman after she confided in him that her former husband was ill-treating her.

Not long after, their father started an affair with the woman and even bought her the apartment where she now lives with her daughter.

The writer claimed his mother begged the woman to leave his father, but the woman said she did not mind being a mistress and she would end the affair only if the man initiated it.

It is understood the woman is Singaporean, and divorced.

The chairman of the condominium's management committee confirmed that every resident had received the letter.

He said: 'The letter writer certainly spent some money sending the letters out as all the letters were mailed to us. Even the guardhouse received a copy.

'We also received a similar letter alleging the same thing about the same woman last year.'

The committee chairman added that two residents had told him they were unhappy over the letter.

Moral issue

He said: 'They feel the affair is a moral issue because the woman is carrying on the relationship in the presence of her young daughter (from her previous marriage).

'Residents are concerned as they have children who are the same age as the daughter.

'But the management committee can't do anything as the woman is the rightful owner of the apartment and we can't possibly chase her away.'

It is understood the man and his family does not live in the same condominium. One of the security guards said he was appalled at the contents of the letter, which The New Paper on Sunday has a copy of.

Said the security guard, in Mandarin: 'I felt the letter was written in a 'li pu' (Mandarin for excessive) way as it appeared to be washing dirty linen in public.'

Is the letter defamatory?

Family lawyer Koh Tien Hua from Harry Elias Partnership said there is little legal recourse for the man and his alleged mistress if the said affair is true.

Said Mr Koh: 'It is defamatory only if the contents of the letter are proven to be false.

'But if the man and his alleged mistress feel they are being harassed, it is possible to take civil action and apply for an injunction to stop the letter writers from further harassing them.'

The New Paper on Sunday could not get the woman mentioned in the letter to verify the allegations despite repeated attempts to contact her.

Calls to her handphone went unanswered and she did not reply to our text messages.

When we visited her apartment, no one answered the door. We could hear a dog barking and a woman talking from inside the apartment, but the occupants refused to answer the door.

But the letter writer's aunt said the family has been thrown in turmoil since the affair.

The aunt, a lecturer who wanted to be known only as Ms Ng, is the man's brother and claimed the affair had been going on for eight years.

Ms Ng said her sister-in-law suspected her brother of infidelity when one day, he came home with lipstick marks on his shirt.

Ms Ng declined to put us in touch with her brother's family, saying they would not want publicity.

Private investigator

Through Ms Ng, The New Paper contacted a private investigator, who had been hired by the family to spy on her brother.

Her brother has two sons and a daughter, aged between 10 and 14, while his alleged mistress has a 13-year-old daughter from her previous marriage.

The investigator's photos showed the man holding hands with his alleged mistress and going out with her and her daughter.

Ms Ng said of her sister-in-law: 'She considered divorce many, many times, but everybody in the family asked her to hang on for her children's sake. We don't want a broken family for the three young children.'

This article was first published in The New Paper.

readers' comments
The Way I See It:


In Thailand is it? :D
Posted by ILostMyBall on Sat, 19 Dec 2009 at 13:46 PM
That is not new,adulterous man keeping woman...

This attached news is on a case is even more ridiculous, adulterous woman and give birth to 2 illegitimate children even before divorce...

http://thumbnails24.imagebam.com/5614/2831ed56131293.gif

http://www.freeimagehosting.net/image.php?49142f356f.jpg
Posted by readerup on Sat, 19 Dec 2009 at 10:41 AM
2 wrongs will never make a right...so no matter what the wife may have done wrong, the husband should never commit another wrong by having an adulterous relationship. The article did not state that the wife sent the mail so we should not jump to the conclusion that she did it. Who is to blame for the marriage breaking down? Both husband and wife of course--it takes 2 hands to clap. It is too easy to give advice without knowing the full story. But it is never right to take another woman's husband just because one is divorced and needs someone to maintain one's lifestyle. And the daughter should also realise that she is enjoying life at the expense of other children who have the right to their father's time and money and insist that her mother give up being a mistress. She can always get maintenance from her biological .....
Posted by voiceofreason7 on Tue, 17 Nov 2009 at 21:31 PM


If the husband took a mistress he is defintely in the wrong but we need to understand the details first before condeming anyone. We do not know anything about what led the husband to have a mistress. But it is obvious that he did not father the daughter of his mistress. If we condemn this man, just by hearing one side of the story, are we not also to codemn Prince Charles? In reality, how does a divorce help anyone? But I am disgusted with the wife for sending the mail. If she has a problem with her husband, drag him to court if it makes her feel better. How does trying to hurt the women and end up also hurting her daughter, who is innocent, show that she is any better than the mistress? 2 wrongs will never make a right...Now having resorted to this, .....
Posted by kooldog59 on Sun, 15 Nov 2009 at 00:01 AM
Who is to blame? If the wife has no ability to hold on to her husband,accept that harsh reality and get a divorce and move on. Its no one life but hers. So live a life. Be independent and love herself.
Posted by audricum on Sat, 14 Nov 2009 at 20:45 PM
Its year 2008, the wife should just go ahead and get a divorce. Yes, there is no point in being with a spouse like the adulterer. From observing past (early 80s & 90s) spousal relationships of relatives, neighbours, etc, many stay in a non-functional marriage either for their kids or financial support. Pity. Women should study hard, have career and NEVER be dependent on their spouse.
Posted by & then on Tue, 10 Nov 2009 at 13:10 PM

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