I KNOW a lot of guys will resent me for leaking this.

Those players out there desperately don't want you to know this. But I'm fed up with seeing girls hurt by guys who play with emotions.

Ladies, if you want to test whether a guy is a player, employ the concept of 'compliance', which was brilliantly expounded by the renowned professor of psychology, Robert Cialdini.

Make your guy invest in you.

It's a simple concept, but it can be hard to implement.

If all you want are short flings, though, don't do this, as it will actually make it harder for you to hook up with random hunks, especially the insecure ones who don't know what they want in a woman.

Instead, flirt relentlessly. Stand near the bar, and smile at every guy who catches your fancy. When he returns your glance, look at him coyly with your chin tilted downwards.

When he comes over to talk, be friendly, forgiving, and encouraging. Don't touch him too fast as you don't want to scare him off.

Don't talk too much to your friends. You want to make it as easy as possible for him.

Obviously, this is the sort of advice many boys want me to give out to girls. Sorry to disappoint you, boys.

If you want your love interest to commit to you, make him invest as much time and effort in you as possible.

Why? Imagine, for example, a $1,000 designer purse that you bought for yourself after having saved up for many months. You value it more because you put in all the time and effort to work hard, save your money, and then spent it on this purse.

Now, imagine that you've won a purse in a contest that your friend entered for you. This purse is also worth $1,000.

If you absolutely had to give one away, which one would it be? Most people would say they'd give away the one they got for free, of course.

Now let's raise the stakes. Imagine that you accidentally got some scratches and stains on the purse you worked and saved really hard to buy. And then you were forced to choose which one you would keep.

Pure rationality tells you that you should keep the unblemished purse you won.

But which one would most people want to keep? That's right. The one they saved up many months for. Why? Because they invested their blood, sweat and tears in it.

Start off small

As with most skills, you will get better with experience. You don't want to ask him to invest too much, especially at the beginning. Start off small, and increase gradually.

This should start from the very beginning.

When you see your target in the room, don't stare at him or approach him. If he really wants you, he will work up the nerve to approach you once he notices you.

Don't stand in one place too long. Keep working the room. If he really likes you, he will have to catch you in motion.

When he approaches you, don't think, 'Oh, I'm so lucky!' Instead, think, 'Any man would be lucky to have me'.

Smile and answer his questions politely, but don't say too much. You should seem modest, shy, and even a little mysterious.

Don't bore him. Instead, leave him hungry for more. End the conversation first. Tell him you'd like to go talk to your friends for a while. If he really wants you, he'll search the crowded room for you later.

When he works up the courage to ask for your contact information, don't make it too easy for him. When he stumbles over his words because he's so nervous, that's a good thing.

The more he invests in you, the more he will value you.

Learn more about dating expert Dr Date at his website: www.powerofbeingasian.com

This article was first published in The New Paper.