Let’s face it.

Since time immemorial, men – and women – have cheated on their partners. But these days, with liberal attitudes and modern marvels like text messaging and Facebook, one has many more opportunities to cheat.

Problem is, when is the line really crossed? Her World polls more than 50 women for their take on cheating (or might’ve been cheating) behaviours.

Here’s what they consider cheating, and not…

He shares a drunken kiss with another woman

Yes - 86.2%

Why?

“Insobriety is no excuse for bad behaviour. To me, a kiss – even one done in a drunken state – is a form of physical intimacy and that constitutes cheating. Besides, I’m sure my boyfriend wouldn’t like it if I kissed another man, whether I’m drunk or not.” – Hannah

The situation “I was out partying with friends when I spotted my boyfriend of three months kissing another girl passionately on the lips at another table. When I confronted him, he conveniently blamed it on the alcohol. But as I witnessed everything, I was sure he knew what he was doing, even if he was a little tipsy. I definitely felt cheated. Needless to say, I ended the relationship there and then.” – Molly

He exchanges flirty SMSes with another woman

Yes - 75.9%

Why?

“Exchanging flirty SMSes with another woman is the first step towards having an affair with her. It is essentially cheating on an emotional level, especially if it’s done regularly behind a partner’s back. More often than not, it will lead to something more. Beware!” – Eva

The situation “I’d been dating my Kuala Lumpur-based boyfriend long-distance for three years when I found out he had been exchanging flirty SMSes with another woman. As the SMSes weren’t sexual in nature, I didn’t confront him then. Yet, I couldn’t trust him anymore. If he said he was going to work late and wouldn’t be calling me that night, my thoughts would run wild. One evening, I took the overnight train to KL and hung around his apartment until I was certain he had gone to work. Then I entered his apartment with the keys he had given me and found another woman’s belongings everywhere. I know it was the same woman he had been SMS-ing because her name was also on some documents and letters lying around the apartment. I broke up with him after that.” – Susan

He has a “work spouse”

Yes - 71.2%

Why?

“In today’s work-obsessed society, it’s easy to develop strong bonds with colleagues. So technically, having a ‘work spouse’ is not cheating. But it can escalate into an emotional affair if they are sharing their deepest feelings and fears with each other. I’d definitely be worried if my husband constantly talks about his ‘work spouse’ and is uncomfortable about letting me meet her.” – Nellie

The situation “My boyfriend, a copywriter, works closely with a female colleague, an art director, at a multinational advertising agency. Due to the nature of their work, they can spend whole days and nights discussing ideas or rushing for pitches together. They have been partners for the last two years and know each other’s habits so well that their colleagues sometimes tease them about being ‘husband’ and ‘wife’. I’m not comfortable with it and it definitely sounds like a work affair that’s waiting to happen. But he hasn’t crossed the line, yet.” – Jenny

He surfs naughty sites without telling you

No - 81.3%

Why not?

“Men are visual creatures and have their ‘needs’. It only becomes a problem when a man does it excessively and it affects the relationship. But I don’t consider it cheating as the women in such material are ‘reel’, not real.” – Kelly

The situation “I had been dating my boyfriend for a year when I found out that he had been surfing adult sites regularly on his computer. We never discussed it and I’m not a prude, so his solo enjoyment of this doesn’t bother me at all. It is not affecting our relationship in any way. But I have a friend whose ex-husband was so addicted that it wrecked their marriage.” – Anne

Get a copy of the Oct 2009 issue of Her World, Singapore’s No. 1 women’s magazine. Her World, published by SPH Magazines is available at all newsstands now. Jaclyn Lim is a Features Writer with Her World magazine by SPH Magazines. Check out more stories at Her World online, www.herworld.com