I AM a 17-year-old-girl who was in a relationship with A for two years. He is a good, caring, loyal and well-mannered guy who is now in Upper Six. We loved each other very much.

Our relationship was fine until one day when we kissed and hugged for the first time in his car. It felt so nice and our relationship seemed so deep.

One day, I went to A’s house when his parents were out. We had sexual foreplay but didn’t have sex. After that day, I felt guilty, disappointed, and sad. I regret doing it as I am only 17 and will be sitting for the SPM exam soon.

My parents have high hopes for me especially since I didn’t do well in my PMR exam. But now I cannot concentrate on my studies.

I have now broken up with A because he showed my sister pictures of us together. I was very angry and shouted at him.

I didn’t want to break up but I need to concentrate on my studies and A always wanted to know who I was talking to, and doesn’t give me my own space.

He doesn’t understand that I need some freedom. I had thought of marrying A and having a happy life in the future since he is so loving and caring. Have I done the wrong thing?

Now my cousin S has proposed to me. Even though I don’t have any feelings for him, I have accepted his proposal and said that I love him. I feel so bad now. Am I a playgirl or a cheap girl? Am I making a mistake?

Very Confused Gal

IF having a relationship was causing guilt and regrets, then you did the right thing in breaking up with A.

When you need time and effort to focus on your studies, A’s possessive attitude would not help. But why accept a proposal from S when you do not have any feelings for him?

You should just stop having emotional involvements and concentrate on your SPM. And if you work hard and smart, your PMR results will certainly not affect your SPM outcome. You are an intelligent girl who knows her priorities.

Unfortunately, you seem all in a dither over everything. Whining and wailing over your secret relationship with A will not help you get better grades. And if you had fun during sexual foreplay, do not torture yourself with guilt and shame. At least you managed to say no to sex.

Remind yourself of your family’s hopes and expectations so that you do not lose sight of your goals.

Most importantly, stop wasting time and energy on what had been done. A is out of your life. Tell S that you are not ready for his proposal. You are not ready for love right now.

When you have achieved the results you want, think of your future. Do you want to be saddled with a relationship so soon? Or do you want to flex your wings and fly high on hopes and dreams before you settle down? -The Star