Janice* had to endure the loss of not one, but two serious boyfriends. She thought herself to be partially at fault for their deaths and is now paranoid that she is a jinx to her loved ones.

This is her story in Her World.

Her first boyfriend, Tom, died just a few months shy of her birthday in a road accident. After a quarrel, Tom had gone out  drinking with his friends, but called Janice as he was driving home. Still upset with him, Janice cancelled the call.

At that very moment, Tom's car crashed into a tree, causing him to die instantly.

Janice could not accept Tom's death, and missed meals and sleep. She also lost 10kg, and even considered commiting suicide, although she never had to courage to do so.

It was two years before she entered into a serious relationship again.

John* was 14 years her senior, and he often complained about chest pains and breathlessness due to work stress. His complaints worried Janice, who was only gradually getting over Tom's death.

One Saturday night, the couple quarrelled over a trivial matter which led to him refusing to speak to her. He even switched off his mobile phone. Giving him some personal space, Janice waited till Monday morning before calling his office in an attempt to make peace.

But his secretary informed her that John had died that same Saturday night of a heart attack. Grief-stricken, Janice called all his friends to make sure that she was not imagining his death.

In the case of John's death, however, Janice managed to move on in a month or so and she attributed it to the fact that she had already been through it before.

Since the deaths of both Tom and John, Janice took an interest in horoscopes and numerology as she started to believe that she was jinxed in love. Paranoia influences her choice in men today as she will only get into serious relationships with men whose horoscope signs do not clash with hers.

Janice keeps momentos from the two men she loved and takes the items out whenever she misses them. She also regrets not expressing her love for them more frequently when they were alive.

*Names have been changed.

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