Dear Dr. Date,

I like this girl at school. We have been friends for many years. I told her last week that I like her, but she said, 'Let's just be friends.'

Is there anything I can do to make her my girlfriend?

Sincerely, Desperate Dennis

Dear Dennis,

Ah, the dreaded 'Let's Just Be Friends' speech. Or, as it is known in my profession, you got LJBF-ed.

Before you read this, first read my other column (above). It discusses the two factors that differentiate your case and explains the principles behind the first factor.

You are in The Friend Zone. That's the first factor.

But even worse, you have been in The Friend Zone for a very long time. Time is working against you right now. You have to make time work for you.

The longer a guy spends in a category, the more deeply entrenched in it he will be and the harder it will be to dig himself out.

Once a guy has been in The Friend Zone for over 20 hours of interaction time, his chances of getting out of it shrink exponentially.

He must take more drastic measures.

His best bet is to minimise social contact with her for a minimum of one month up to a period that is half as long as the time they have been friends.

During this time, he should develop his attraction skills, raise his social and emotional intelligence, expand his social circle, improve himself physically, and in general, make himself a much more attractive person and learn to convey that attractiveness effectively.

When he re-enters her life, she will be forced to confront a brand new guy - a more powerfully attractive man, a man she cannot dismissively drop into The Friend Zone.

Don't worry that she will meet a new boyfriend during your absence. Your current presence as 'just a friend' won't deter her from dating guys she likes romantically anyway.

There are other options, including the Hollywood fairy tale of two friends becoming lovers over time, but the Absence Method is by far the most effective route.

This article was first published in The New Paper