Little Hrishmita Chinchwade's life follows a rigorous routine - school, nap and playtime, with only two TV shows a day.

But the three-year-old's grandparents, Mr Eddie Tai and Madam Chan Siew Pheng, who look after her on weekdays, are not the ones drawing up her schedule.

'That responsibility is Ee Lin's,' said Mr Tai, referring to the toddler's mother.

'We follow her instructions.'

More older folk here may be standing in as caregivers to their grandchildren but it is the parents who still call the shots.

A recent National University of Singapore study that compared the roles of grandparents in Singapore and Japan found non-interference to be the over-arching principle.

' It is perceived as a way of showing respect to the younger generation,' said Associate Professor Kalyani Mehta, one of the authors of the study.

'Being non-interfering also allows both generations to avoid conflict,' she added.

Grandparents whom The Sunday Times spoke to also tend to agree with the 'hands-off' philosophy.

Former factory worker Lim Moey Fong, 53, showers Rachel Goh, who is two-and-a-half, and her three-month-old brother Richie with love and keeps a watchful eye on them.

But details like what they eat or what TV programmes Rachel can watch are left to Madam Lim's daughter, Ms Daphne Yeow, 30, to decide.

Grandma looks after the children so that Ms Yeow can pursue a career as a teacher.

'The children are safer with me, but their parents decide what is best for them,' said Madam Lim.

This article was first published in The Sunday Times on Nov 23, 2008.