ONE evening, when I was 17 years old, my father rounded up his four children and told us he did not want us to support him in old age.

He was adamant: 'If you don't want to take care of me, then don't. I don't need you to take care of me.'

It was right about when Singapore passed its Maintenance of Parents Act in 1997. My father's strong reaction was one of personal ego, but just as strongly, a repudiation of the law itself.

It made me wonder: In a country where 'saving face' is a national obsession, just how practically applicable and socially relevant is it to give ageing parents the right to sue their offspring?

Recently, the subject of filial piety has resurfaced. In this year's National Day Rally speech, Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong said the powers of the current Act may be expanded to let a third party sue the children of neglected senior citizens.

The reasons are clear: On a micro-level, taking care of our elderly is a social virtue that ought to be nurtured.

On a macro-level, the Government needs all the help it can get.

With the national population of those aged 65 and above set to double to 20 per cent by 2020, that's a lot of old people - and not nearly enough young pockets to dig into.

By institutionalising filial support, some financial burden of caring for the elderly can be shifted to their children - where it should be.

But this worries me.

The reason the courts have largely stayed away from legislating filial piety - whether in the United States, Brazil or Japan - is because legislating family matters is notoriously difficult.

Who gets sued? The most able, least liked, or all the children equally?

Currently under the Act, biological, adopted and stepchildren are treated alike. Is that fair?

Will parents have legal claim over children they did not bring up? Elderly parents who are drug addicts, gamblers or criminals - should their children be responsible for their bad choices in life?

There are no easy answers to these questions. But what is certain is this: A beefed-up Maintenance of Parents Act will surely give hope to desperate parents as it will create an abundance of claims that may take months to investigate, all the while jamming courts already burdened with other pressing custody, abuse and abandonment cases.

Maybe it won't come to that. In Singapore, the threat of legal action may be enough to make anyone think twice about dumping their parents.

But more importantly, laws should not take the place of values education and private mediation.

This is not the same as banning chewing gum; legal recourse is one way but honest discussion of elder care - whether private or public - should come first.

I agree with my father. I'd rather be alone in a charity home than take my children to court.

I, too, have my pride. And when I'm old and decrepit, abandoned by my children, it may be one of the few precious things I have left.

This article was first published in The Straits Times.