I suppose it says something about how deviant I am, but after gawping at all the reports about the alleged scale of Jack Neo's infidelities, the main thing that kept bobbing up in my head was: What kind of name is 'Foyce'?

As most of Singapore now knows, Foyce Le Xuan is the showbiz name of an actress-singer who claims to have been the victim of unwanted advances from Mr Neo, and has now filed police reports against him as well as over certain threatening calls she has since received.

What I didn't expect was that besides confronting all of Singapore with the darkness at the heart of our erstwhile national hero, she would also confront me with my own snobbery and hypocrisy.

(Full disclosure: Although also a film-maker, I barely know Jack Neo, unsurprising since I am not in his rarefied league. We have met on maybe three occasions, for less than 10 minutes each. I have also received an SMS from him before: 'How much your box office?')

'Foyce Le Xuan?' I said to the Wife, wrinkling my nose. 'Like 'Pepe Le Pew'? Her real name, Lim Hui Hui, is so much cuter. She didn't need some chao ah lian stage name.'

'I can't believe you,' the Wife shook her head. 'Mr Defender of Singlish, being such a snobby banana.'

'I'm not a snobby banana!' I said, stung. 'Singlish is an organic blending of existing linguistic elements. Foyce is just a ridiculous made-up name, designed to lend a whiff of the West. Unsuccessfully, I might add.'

'I see no difference between Foyce and other stars like Jet Li or Vanness Wu,' replied the Wife. 'And it's no less ridiculous than Cruz Beckham or Prince Michael Jackson, or any more made-up than Beyonce, not to mention Lady Gaga.'

'True,' I agreed. 'No culture, social class or income bracket is exempt from inanity.'

'And,' she said, twisting the knife, 'I don't see you using your Chinese name in your byline, Mr Goh Yong Ping.'

Ouch. A hit, a very palpable hit. I couldn't come up with any reply and just stood there stammering like Porky Pig.

No matter how I tried to justify my prejudice - Colin is an actual name. An ancient Gaelic name with Latin roots, which means, um, 'young dog'! What does 'Foyce' mean, huh? Huh? Having a Western name is just an acknowledgement of Singapore's past as a British colony and our present hybrid culture. I mean, the Minister Mentor has an English name too, right?

Right? - I knew maintaining my English name meant that at some level, I was conceding that appearing even a little bit Westernised still had some cachet. Meaning, I was just another poseur with a post-colonial hangover.

I suppose I became judgmental about the adoption of fake and/or aspirational English names because I grew up in the 1980s. Those of us of a certain vintage might recall how teenagers during that period used to adopt names that were a blend of Western and Japanese pop stars. You couldn't tune in to any radio show without hearing dedications from 'Akina de Spandau' to her buddies 'Seiko de Duran', 'Depeche de Nakamori' and 'Siobhan (pronounced 'sio-bahn', of course) de Hayami Le Bon Taylor'.

Of course, we Singaporeans aren't the first Asians to adopt unusual Western names. Hong Kongers have been at it longer, and are possibly more advanced practitioners of the art. I've met Utopia Lau, Westward Ho, and I know people who swear they've met the possibly mythical Pubic Ha. And when I visited China, I came across many who are taking the art form to even dizzier heights (or depths, depending on your perspective) - sometimes through innocence (a man named Daisy), gaucheness (a woman named Vuitton) and sometimes jaw-dropping impertinence: I once attended a party in Beijing, where a tall, bearded Chinese man introduced himself in all seriousness as 'Hi, my name is Jesus', and he didn't pronounce it 'Hay-soos' as the Hispanics do.

It began to dawn on me that perhaps nowadays, choosing an unusual Western name has less to do with cloaking oneself with a mantle of perceived European prestige, but rather, is now an act of postmodern playfulness.

So really, what Miss Foyce Le Xuan has shown me is not just how colonised I am, but also how backward. I was just too much of a fuddy-duddy to appreciate that her Western name was not merely a borrowing, but a conscious act of creation: 'Foyce' was her choice, and was not foisted upon her.

Suitably chastened, I look forward to meeting more innovators of Foyce's generation: whether Boyce, Doyce, Goyce or Loyce.

This article was first published in The Sunday Times.