When I was in university, two guys in my class were both interested in the same girl.
Dude A, who was better looking than his competitor and began dating the girl first, tried to impress her with expensive - and expansive - gestures. He brought her to expensive restaurants, bought her flowers, dedicated songs to her on a radio station and even spent most of his savings on an expensive Prada bag for her.
Dude B brought her out on inexpensive dates, went window shopping and browsed books at the bookstore. They also chatted to each other about their childhood experiences and generally made lots of small talk. They soon became a couple before the exam period began.
So why did B win the girl so effortlessly gets girl, while A tried so hard, only to have his attention rebuffed?
The answer may seem to go against the grain of what every guy believes.
When a woman sees a guy trying too hard to please her, she will feel a lot less attracted to him. I call it the 'try-too-hard' syndrome.
The guy who gets the girl is not the one who spends the most money, but he does make her feel' the most for him.
Dude B won the girl's heart because he focused on creating moments of enjoyment and excitement when they were together, and eventually got her to feel attracted to him.
It's not a big deal if he's plain-looking, he just knows what the ladies are attracted to.
You may ask: "I thought the girl would be touched knowing that I spent more money buying things for her than on myself?"
But here's a painful lesson that I learnt - a girl may be touched by what a guy buys for her, but that does not mean she will like him.
Being touched by your gestures and being attracted to you are two different things. She can always say: "I'm moved by all that you've done for me. I'm impressed, but I just can't force myself to like you."
So, impressing the girl is not the same as attracting the girl.
I did an estimatiion on the amount I spent on gifts and outings in my attempts to impress girls when I was younger.
Since such dinners can cost a hundred dollars each, all those items amounted to $2,500 rough calculation.
And yet, none of these cases developed into relationships.
Then, one of my 'dating' mentors taught me - Don't make the girl think you're compensating on your inability to attract her by spending more money on her.
If not for that advice, I might still be single today and my dates would continue to burn a hole in my pocket and still have no results to show for.
It is okay to spend reasonably on dates but it is dangerous to give a lady the impression that you are using money to buy her affection. Instead, you need to generate attraction with her.
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About the writer:
Skilldo is an 'ex-unhappy' Singaporean guy - who grew from being lonely, dateless and single... into breaking out of it, and obtained a fulfilling social life in meeting, dating and entering satisfying relationships with women.
He is the author of 'The Ultimate Singapore Girl-Getter'. A locally-focused guide for Singapore men to approach, date and successfully
attract the type of women they want for themselves.
Simple la.. you just need to have sex with him first lo..
Sounds like you are quite good.. how do you know your bf is not for wealth and sex? Maybe you can share your view .:D
But, let me tell you that, this is his experience. And he has his own style when meeting girls.
His style might not apply to my style. I guess if you guys will like to know the technique how to find a girlfriend, you can pm me or email me or sms me. I will give you guys FOC advice.
Like what enigma has said so gently, "stability", "can provide". Singaporeans are a practical lot. We like to call a spade a spade. In more straightforward terms, money. More money, better, irregardless of looks. The more straightforward you are, the more you will find what you look for, the happier you are.
Wonder which day will the Men's Charter be drawn up.
What you are talking about "attraction", that's the 1990s.
Today, it is No Money, No Honey. Please go read that book, before writing your own book full of nonsense.
successful guys dont actually do much, it is part of the lifestyle. just the opposite, the poor guy would do a lot more to woo the same girl, perhaps spend less and is more creative.
honestly, most girls look for stability. someone who can provide. this is why girls would prefer someone successful than a nobody, irregardless of looks.
I made myself open to these opportunities by actually not trying that hard. Simple things like late-night suppers, walking my dog (a real girl .....
(1) if a woman have choice, she will also check out the rich guy..good looking or not is secondary...
(2) with more spending power, woman (wife) can spend more on clothing, madeup, even more maid to help out in her daily work..
(3) when the man are rich and good looking...the risk is that he will sometime ''eat'' out....and will have afair....
(4) poorer guy will have less chance to '''eat''out....
of course the comparision can carry on ...