WE dated for almost two years before getting married early this year. The first month was almost bliss – then it ended. There hasn’t been time or room for intimacy since.

My husband is a workaholic; my family and friends always give me sympathetic looks because they know I’m home alone. He normally comes home after 8pm and even clocks in on weekends. When I was sick for sometime, he never checked on me.

It’s not that I do not understand; there just isn’t any connection or love between us any more. I used to wonder if he would feel any difference if I weren’t around. Well, he would miss having someone to do the chores.

He is nice, but he’s not the person I dated, the man who asked me to spend the rest of my life with him.

We’ve had many arguments which stem from my dissatisfaction and frustration. I don’t even feel like talking to or looking at him these days. I feel like I’ve have been taken for granted. If we were dating, I would have walked out.

Postley

IF you do not love your husband anymore, what is the difference between dating and marriage? You can still walk out.

No one should fault you for leaving a man who does not have time to share a marriage with you. Being a workaholic makes a poor excuse; where did he find the time to date you before? And you had one blissful month after marriage when your man managed to make you blissful. What happened after that?

Your husband’s behaviour does not make sense. He must love you to have married you. He does not need a wife to do the chores as a part-time maid would suffice. He is aware that you are frustrated and upset. Why isn’t he responding to your state of mind?

You feel that he is completely unlike the person you dated and fell in love with. How can a man change so much after marriage?

Perhaps you need to shock him to react. Pack your bags and tell him you are leaving him. Let him know how you feel and do not spare him the truth. But this is time for communication, honesty and reconciliation. Do not use words to accuse or hurt.

Simply tell him how hurt and neglected you feel. Ask him if he is prepared to balance his work with love and time for you. There is no other option because you cannot compromise your life for a man whose priority is work.

Yours is a marriage built on mutual love. You shared two years together and had no clue about his true character and personality? What happened to passion, desire and love? You need the answers so that you can decide on your future.