There are many success stories where people went from dateless to being successful with women. Behind each success story, there must have been factors that caused such a change.
There are no exceptions for me as well. After having had breakthrough from a "dateless" past, I've identified a number of key factors which helped me turn things around.
Here are 3 things to stop doing:
#1: Stop worrying about what others think
I used to get too caught up with what people will think when I did this or that.
The moment I let that go, the number of successful approaches, phone numbers collected and dates with women increased dramatically.
In approaching a girl, often too much time is spent worrying about whether she'll think you're desperate.
Or what if other people think I'm trying to get into her pants?"
Let all these worries go.
What others think is out of your control.
What you can control, however, is your thoughts and action.
Besides, most of the time you'd be surprise - what you are fearing in not usually what she is thinking about you.
A guy who is too bothered with what others think is often the one who gets stuck in the rut and foils his own chances with women.
#2: Stop making second guesses
Stop guessing whether a girl you are about to approach is single or has a boyfriend. Go talk to her and find out!
Most guys play "question games" with themselves and talk themselves right
out of the situation when they are just about to approach a woman, just because they guessing she might
not be available.
Truth is - they don't really know the truth, they guessed the truth.
Reality is, a lady may be attached but there is the same chance that she might be single as well (it is a 50-50 chance).
You have to establish that conversation with her to find out which 50% does she is leaning into.
Since the reality is, you do not know whether she is single or not, you might as well play the situation to your advantage.
When others see a wall, you see opportunity - having that perspective helps.
Besides, success with women comes from socialising and discovering new things about them and not from making second guessing and going nowhere.
#3: Stop procrastinating!
When it comes to knowing women and becoming better with them, most guys tend to unnecessarily delay their action, thinking the situation will get better if they do it in future rather than now.
This is a killer, where in the past, it almost made me lose numerous opportunities with women.
Instead, realise this: Men who succeed with ladies don't make situations better by having the mindset of "I'll do it tomorrow".
If you're shy and want to be more confident with women, waiting till tomorrow or next week to accomplish that is of little use. Besides it is always easier to tell yourself that you might have better luck next time, not today.
So power comes the moment you realise that something can be done now rather than later - you choose make things happen earlier.
Don't accumulate too many tomorrows" that you find that one day, the girl you fancy is not available anymore.
When it comes to approaching women, the attitude of a man has a big factor which influences the outcome of getting to know a woman.
Here are 3 things to start doing:
#1: Start replacing fear with fun
Among all the men I knew have had success with the opposite sex, each one of them knew how to incorporate fun into every component of interacting with the opposite sex.
Instead of stressing about how to get approval from the girl, if your focus is on 'socialising fun', then there's zero room for fear to creep in.
#2: Start having the attitude of 'letting go'
Most guys think that if he approaches a girl and she seems disinterested, that means he's failed horribly.
This is what's causing many guys from even wanting to try. (Fact is, I've came across too many males in their mid-30s who have never once chatted a woman up.)
Now, here's the thing: Approaching women is about finding out which girl is interested to talk and who's not.
If a girl is interested, that's good news! If she's not, let go.
There's no advantage in asking yourself "Why is she disinterested? Gosh, she must think I'm a freak or something!"
Drop it. Move on.
The same time spent doubting can be used to talk to another lady who is interested.
#3: Start having 'progress, not perfection'
Never "wait" for situations to be perfect before going up to have conversations with women. Simply because, perfect situations don't exist.
Have the mentality of wanting to achieve personal growth.
It's not about wanting things to be perfect.
The opportunity to build up one's courage and character through interaction with a stranger is well-worth it.
About the writer:
Skilldo is an 'ex-unhappy' Singaporean guy - who grew from being lonely, dateless and single... into breaking out of it, and obtained a fulfilling social life in meeting, dating and entering satisfying relationships with women.
He is the author of 'The Ultimate Singapore Girl-Getter'. A locally-focused guide for Singapore men to approach, date and successfully attract the type of women they want for themselves.
He maintains a website containing secrets and training for men at - http://www.seductionsingapore.com
