I once had a conversation with a friend who is a bit of a Casanova, when he mentioned something that was important to know about relationships and dating.

He brought up an observation about how some guys wanted to be more confident around women - you know, to be able to walk up to one and hold a conversation with her.

But most guys get put off because they worry about how they would like to casual observers.

They get bogged down by thoughts like, "If I walk up to that girl at the bus stop, and other people saw it, will they think I'm hard-up to know girls?", or "I really want to talk to the woman seating opposite me, but what if people who saw think I'm desperate?"

My friend then offered a suggestion to stop these self-doubts. That is, the faster you can stop thinking of how others think of you, the faster you can accomplish more with women and in your dating life.

Take your time to read it again.

The thing is, even if you do look desperate to an outsider, do you truly value what they think of you?

Not a bit, I believe. What they think of you should have no influence on what you decide to do.

Approaching a woman and socialising with her is not desperate. On the other hand, calling a girl everyday and plying her with expensive gifts and dinners is.

A woman's 'desperate guy' alarm will ring like crazy when you demonstrate that you need her to give you her phone number, that you need her to reply to your countless SMS-es,  or that you need her to agree to go out with you.

Here's a typical example:
Guy asks girl to go on a date on Friday. She cannot make it. He counters: "How about Saturday?" She can't make it too. And he keeps asking about her schedule everyday until the end of the month.

The girl can sense the guy's desperation here. Her alarm bell rings. This is not good.

On the flip side, the men who "got it" and are amazing with women do not have to keep showing eagerness to spend time with the women.

They have an air of self-assurance and can get the girl to exhange phone numbers with him in a casual manner without looking like a desperado.

It all boils down to this - when women sense a man's aura of self-assuredness, she will then be willing to follow his lead.


About the writer:

Skilldo is an 'ex-unhappy' Singaporean guy - who grew from being lonely,
dateless and single... into breaking out of it, and obtained a fulfilling
social life in meeting, dating and entering satisfying relationships with
women.

He is the author of 'The Ultimate Singapore Girl-Getter'. A
locally-focused guide for Singapore men to approach, date and successfully
attract the type of women they want for themselves.

He maintains a website containing secrets and training for men at -
http://www.seductionsingapore.com