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Thu, Sep 10, 2009
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Three rules to optimise your dates
by Skilldo

Charming ladies into wanting to meet you again is more than just mere talk. Here are three rules of engagement to help you optimise your dates.


1. Your date must contain elements that naturally fascinate women.

I used to think - wrongly, of course - that a guy can bond with a girl just by chatting with her.

You must build in moments of closeness, to cause the girl to feel that she likes you.

How? For example, both parties should be engaged in something that is privy and fascinating to them only. This will help you to build an emotional bond with your date.

This may sound childish, but trying out palm-reading, or analysing her name will help you to create moments of connection with her.

Engaging her in conversation alone just won't do. The guy's job when on a date is to give a woman a bonding experience, not to tell her to "feel good" when she's with you.


2. Don't try to guess what a woman thinks about you on dates

Why not? Because she's similarly stressing about how you think of her too.

She may be thinking: "Did I dress correctly today? Did I just said something that made me sound like an easy
girl? Is my makeup too light? I hope he didn't see that pimple."

That's right. And it makes no difference whether she is drop-dead gorgeous, or simple-looking or conservative.

The fact is that she's hoping not to make any mistakes on that date with you.

So, don't worry. Getting preoccupied with the woman's opinion of you on a date is unneccessary. Also, it stops you from functioning well on the date.

Most men who go on successsful dates manage to get their relaxed attitudes because they aren't afraid of being judged during the date. They are not hampered by fears of screwing up their dates.


3. It's pointless to only try and get to know her better.

The main aim of dating is to cause mutual attraction to happen, and to spark your date's interest in you.

So, don't miss the point.

I mean, which is better - You know a lot about a girl, but she didn't like you one bit, or know something about a girl, enough for you to like her, and for her to like you as well.


Let me put elaborate with a story about a male friend of mine.

He used to go on dates with this lady he met at a party. In the process of getting to know her better, he discovered that she likes to spend her Sundays rollerblading at East Coast Park, she loves hamsters,  she's the only child in her family, etc.

In short, he "got to know" a mountain of stuff about her.

But his knowledge about her amounted to nothing, because attraction did not happen, and mutual interest in each other was not sparked off.

In the end, the girl stopped responding to his calls and sms-es. So let's just say he amassed tons of information about the girl but he didn't get the girl.

So, stop being an "information digger", but be an "attraction generator" instead.


About the writer:

Skilldo is an 'ex-unhappy' Singaporean guy - who grew from being lonely, dateless and single... into breaking out of it, and obtained a fulfilling social life in meeting, dating and entering satisfying relationships with women.

He is the author of 'The Ultimate Singapore Girl-Getter'. A locally-focused guide for Singapore men to approach, date and successfully
attract the type of women they want for themselves.

He maintains a website containing secrets and training for men at - http://www.seductionsingapore.com

readers' comments
I dont agree with Forum goddess that HK gals are having problem to find love. In HK, we also have the govt organization that help us to find partners like the SDU-SDS event, and we have matchmaking agencies that set up from the govt and our market is very big. The problem is in HK, we girls are not choosy and picky like the Singaporeans and we do not go for the 5Cs.
But after reading the posting from Alany, I think he is trying to say that his friend is having problem finding a girlfriend in Singapore, that is why I said that the girls in Singapore are weird because they have full support from the Government yet they don't want to get married and settled down.
In HK, the birth rate is increasing, meanwhile in Singapore the birth rate is falling down. We treat pro-creations .....
Posted by ms.hongkong on Mon, 14 Sep 2009 at 12:28 PM


Sounds like girls in Hong Kong have a tougher time looking for love, but Singaporean girls are just ... picky.
Posted by Forum goddess on Mon, 14 Sep 2009 at 11:30 AM


I m from Hong Kong and I am quite a newbie here. I like to give you a few comment from the girls view point and hope this helps.
I think the girl that your friend are contacting is not interested in him first of all when he meets her. She just purposedly give him a wrong hand phone number or email just to make him happy. I do not know about Singapore but in Hong Kong some girls will do this to the guy they do not like or to the guy that has no interest to them.
Secondly, if your friend cannot find a singaporean girls, you can always find a foreign girls like from Hong Kong, Malaysia, China, Taiwan and Indonesia girl. They all speak chinese and some of them are even better then the local girls.I think Singaporean girls are .....
Posted by ms.hongkong on Mon, 14 Sep 2009 at 10:12 AM


That's bad attitude.
Posted by Forum goddess on Fri, 11 Sep 2009 at 18:29 PM
Here is a question for Skilldo. I have a friend who attend event and even SDU-SDS event. He told me that he will get the girls contact(hp number) and email during the event. The girl will oblige and gave it to him.
Then he will follow up and contact the gals, to his surprise tone has changed. The girl who is friendly when initially talk to him has turn to the other person. They do not answer his email or his call. Is this typical for Singaporean girls nowadays?
Posted by alany089 on Fri, 11 Sep 2009 at 10:57 AM

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