Q: Greetings Skilldo, I just celebrated my birthday last week and as usual, I had no girlfriend to celebrate with.

This may sound like I'm complaining but why is it that guys who look worse than me can actually get girlfriends?

People say girls like tall guys. I am 1.78m, healthy with quite a good deep voice, but up till now I haven't found success with the girls. Not even one.

I find it hard to approach girls and a lot of the girls I know are either attached or unsuitable. Approaching the fairer sex is like being forced into the most dangerous BMT obstacle course.

I never tried it because before anything can happen, I become very timid. What if the girl thinks I am trying to harass her?

Is there a way to solve this problem?

Depressed


A: There is a Chinese phrase that says complaining is simply non-acceptance of a situation.

And there are only two things you can do to make it acceptable:

Firstly, change the situation. Secondly, change yourself.

When it comes to approaching women, there isn't a lot you can do to alter the situation.

Take a social setting with a lot of women, such as a party, a friend who's hosting some friends at a weekend chalet, or inside a club. There are a lot of women in these situations.

And they were there yesterday, are there today, and they will still be there in such situations tomorrow.

So, what is there to change?

Since socials situations or opportunities to approach the opposite sex are always available, you just need to turn up in any one of these situations in order to embark on your first step to finding your girl.

More importantly though, get yourself to start conversations with the ladies.

This brings me to the point about changing yourself.

A few paradigm shifts in the way you perceive approaching women can do you tons of good.

Most guys view approaching women as threatening or dreadful.

Such dread turns into a 'stop sign' for the guy who wants to talk to the ladies.

Why not use an 'alternate view' to think of approaching women?

Instead of looking at approaching her as a risky act, think: "An approach is just an assessment tool."

When you enter a social scene with lady strangers, you're there for a good time and some sociable interaction. So when you approach any lady, your purpose is to find out if she is sociable enough to talk to or not.

In other words, you approach a girl to find out if she is cool enough for you to stick around and chat with. And that's all there is to it.

A word of caution here: A guy who approaches women usually get badly burnt if he cares too much about what the ladies think.

And I'm talking about thoughts of "Will she think I'm desperate", "Will she think I'm a pervert?", "Will she think 'Why is this stranger talking to me'?" etc.

Instead, empty yourself of cares and tell yourself: "Whatever happens, who cares? Not me, for sure."

When you do that, all 'timidness' or 'shame' leave the room as well.

Skilldo is an 'ex-unhappy' Singaporean guy - who grew from being lonely, dateless and single... into breaking out of it, and obtained a fulfilling social life in meeting, dating and entering satisfying relationships with women.

He is the author of 'The Ultimate Singapore Girl-Getter'. A locall -focused guide for Singapore men to approach, date and successfully attract the type of women they want for themselves.

He maintains a website containing secrets and training for men at - http://www.seductionsingapore.com