Saving my marriage

I half-expected David to serve me with divorce papers, but they never came. I did some soul-searching and the answer came quickly: I loved David and Lucas, and I wanted to save my marriage and my family.

Despite the fun I'd been having in New York, I realised I wasn't happy with the long and stressful working hours. I also realised I had missed out on Lucas' first four years of life, and that my family needed me to be a mum and a wife. I took the first big step to save my marriage; I quit my job.

The day I resigned, and after a month of silence at home, I quietly went up to David to apologise again. I told him I loved him I wanted to be with him and no one else. I also said that I wanted our marriage to work and vowed to do anything it took.

To my surprise, David said he would give me another chance.

Working hard for my honey

We laid down the ground rules we were not to judge, blame or bring up any baggage. And if things got too heated, we would call a timeout. We also promised to never go to bed angry with each other. Then we started talking.

Our long, honest heart-to-heart talks about what we wanted from each other and why we were together in the first place made us realise that we both had to shoulder the blame for the rut our marriage was in.

We have since made big changes in our lives and the way we relate to one another. I always make it a point to tell David who I'm going out with and where we are headed. I's not really reporting, but we both feel it's best that I tell him, rather than he finding out from someone else later. That would be a catalyst for worry and suspicion.

I also became less of an alpha female. I leave the big decisions to David and support them. If I disagree, we will discuss it. But ultimately, I let him, the head of our household, have the final say.

Falling in love again

David shows that he appreciates the effort I have put into making our marriage work. He started asking me out on a date once a week and would hold my hand, hold open doors and pull out chairs for me. He tells me he appreciates that I make an effort to look good for him.

I don't know when it happened, but David and I fell in love and lust with each other again even more than when we first got married.

We cuddle, hug, kiss and hold hands unabashedly. David now pays so much attention to me, our relatives often joke: "Oh, get a room!"

It's been 10 years since my almost-affair. And even though David still flinches every time someone suggests a trip to the US or even Greece, I believe he knows I am committed to our marriage. I no longer think of Andreas. But when I think back, it feels like something that happened a lifetime ago, to a different person.

We asked 50 women:

Have you ever cheated on your husband?

Yes 8.7%

No 91.3%

Have you ever been tempted to stray?

Yes 28.6%

No 71.4%