I came into this world fat. Weighing 8.5 pounds (3kg), I was round cheeked and chubby. I was cooed at, hugged and squeezed. Nurses and mothers loved me. But things weren't so rosy around the time I turned 10. Girls whispered behind my back in school, boys laughed at me when I lumbered around during the PE relays and drama teachers did not hesitate to give me the part of the elephant or rhinoceros in school plays. Finally, at age 12, I was labelled "obese" on my health chart.

Mortified, I went on a crash diet and lost about one-third of my weight in a year. At 1.62 m tall, I was a mere 45 kg - a whisper of my former self. Fearful of putting the weight back on again, I resorted to starving myself. It did not last because the gnawing hunger got the better of me and I ended up bingeing over the weekends.

This slowly developed into a habit where I restrained myself during the week and went on a food rampage over the weekend. My weight yo-yoed during my teens and 20s. It stopped when I got pregnant but for the worse, as I took the opportunity to "eat for two" and ended up weighing 70 kg when my daughter Sam was born.

"Let's exercise together," my husband would often say but I had a zillion reasons not to - I didn't have the time, I had a headache, I couldn't wear running shoes because of my flat feet. Instead, I tried every single diet there was and even signed up to a slimming centre but nothing worked because I continued to eat too much.

When I was 39, I decided that enough was enough. Kitted out in the gleaming new running shoes that my husband bought for me, I met with a personal trainer. He was friendly and patient.

He started me with easy workouts and gradually introduced me to running. I soon realized that it was not as daunting as I had expected. Pleased with my progress, my husband rewarded me with an iPod and many evenings saw me out pounding Singapore's pavement, moving to the music.

But I still did not change what - and how much - I ate.

Seeing that my weight loss progress was slow and that I was disappointed, my trainer introduced me to slimming pills. Within weeks, my clothes hung on me but the following month, I gained it all back. But as he taught me the importance of exercise, I continued to run intermittently. And when we lived in Europe, I embraced skiing, cycling, brisk walking, mountain trekking and ice-skating. I became fitter but I still did not lose as much weight as I wanted.

My daughter, on the other hand, has had none of this drama. Born with long limbs, she is blessed with a slender body and a high metabolic rate. Just the other day, she plonked herself down next to me on the couch and told me about her friend Carmen.

"Carmen is on a strange diet again," she said, rolling her eyes in annoyance.

"Strange?"

"Lately, she has been saying that she is fat and would like to lose weight. But instead of exercising and eating proper meals, she stuffed her face with cupcakes and sweets during breaks and lunch!" Sam exclaimed.

"She refused to join us for athletics, swimming or gymnastics yet complained about how much she weighs. For lunch today, she had two doughnuts and a yoghurt. We told her that it was better for her to ditch the doughnuts and have a sandwich or pasta for lunch instead.

"But of course she didn't! What a ditz!" Sam snorted and stood up, gathering her books.

I mulled over what she said and was glad that she had none of my hang-ups about weight. Perhaps she learned from my experience and was wiser. Whatever it was, I am blessed that, at 13, she has a good head on her shoulders about nutrition and exercise.

But I still did not have my own breakthrough until I met a woman in Jakarta. At the age of 47, she was the picture of good health and vitality. She taught me that I had to control my diet rather than to be on a constant diet. She taught me about portion control and the importance of regular exercise. She introduced me to her trainer from a well-known fitness centre and he continued to educate me about the importance of proper nutrition, adequate sleep and exercise. It hit me then that the answer was a lifestyle change - not an instant fix to fit into a smaller dress size.

Today, I have reached my pre-pregnancy weight but I am not obsessive about the number. It's how I feel. I feel fit, I feel strong and I feel happy with myself. I treat my body with respect and I am no longer on a diet. I eat wisely and do give myself a little treat every Saturday. I have never been fitter and stronger in my life, which is how I would like to be as I face my future.