IF YOU’VE been following the recent Parliament and Budget debates, it seems that local singles are giving our policy makers a major headache.

Latest figures show that 62 per cent of females aged between 25 and 29 were single last year, up from 45.5 per cent in 2000.

For males in the same age group, 78.5 percent were single last year, up from 66.4 percent in 2000.

In a bid to tackle the problem of falling birth rates (Singapore’s fertility rate fell to a new low of1.16 last year), Dr Vivian Balakrishnan, Minister for Community Development, Youth and Sports, revealed that the Government will start looking into ways to help single men and women findpartners.

MP Zaqy Mohamad (Hong Kah GRC) proposed that, when offered a baby bonus of $500,000 in cash per child, some childless women would change their minds and be convinced to get hitched and have kids.

Nominated MP Paulin Tay Straughan suggested that the civil service institute a 5pm “closing time” on Fridays and social committees organise more events to help singles seek out love.

In a forum letter to Straits Times Interactive, areader suggested that the government create a Singles’ Village, a township of sorts, with special “singles flats”.
But can Singaporean singles really be goaded into finding a life partner?

Or, is marriage ultimately a “personal decision”, as Deputy Prime Minister Wong Kan Seng, who oversees Singapore’s population-related issues, puts it?

The New Paper on Sunday gathered five singles – all eligible, articulate, white collar professionals – to discuss the issue.

Marriage – a purely personal decision?

Jia-Er: Compared to our parents, we are certainly the luckier generation.

We have many more things to do, like pursuing further studies, taking up hobbies, etc. Our parents didn’t have so many other distractions.

Now, we are more idealistic and have a lot more choices in life.

Youngsters these days have the time to pick and choose the right person they want to settle down with.

Sharmani: It’s also about how comfortable you are with your present lifestyle.

Say, I’m totally happy with being single and free, I’ll simply continue with my ways. There’s no need to get married and make drastic changes.
John: For guys, it’s also about the high cost of living.

Most of us finish national service at 22, then university at 25. After that, you’d need to start saving money for the future, especially since most of us would like a home of our own. The earliest that one can get married would be 30.

It’s not like the old days any more...My dad was just telling me the other day that he held his wedding banquet in the 70s with just $200!

One-off cash incentive to encourage singles to tie the knot?

Jia-Er: It might lead to serious misuse of the system...I could marry my best male friend and take the free money when actually both of us are leading very separate lives!

Hairul: You can never dangle enough money in front of me to make me get married.

That said, I agree it should be packaged as a subsidy.

What about splitting the incentive into instalments, which would go into better housing grants and subsidised school fees for our kids?

There are already existing subsidies in place, but more can be done and existing policies can be refined.

For example, how about getting banks involved in housing loans too?

Say, it would be great if banks don’t charge interest in the first year of a couple’s marriage.

In Parliament, Nominated MP Paulin Tay Straughan raised the issue that the longer, stressful working hours of singles are preventing them from meeting potential partners. Will stipulated shorter working hours make a difference?

Hairul: We do work longer and more irregular hours now, but it just means less time for ourselves, less time to indulge in our hobbies.

It doesn’t necessarily mean less time to date.

There are people who work long hours because they have to, and there are those who work long hours because they want to.

Yexiang: The quality of time is more important, not quantity.

A member of the public recently suggested that a township be created for local singles aged 25 and above, where they can stay in special “singles’ flats”, interact and mingle with each other. Will it work?

Yexiang: Having studied in the United States for four years, I can see the premise for this. It’s a reflection of major cities in the West, such as New York and London.

Most youngsters there move out from their parents’ place the minute they hit 18...They stay with their friends, hold games nights where they can drink and have fun.

But I’m not sure it’ll work in Singapore.

We don’t want to move out because we want to be seen as filial to our parents. Plus, it’s expensive to live on our own.

Hairul: Single professionals would definitely appreciate this, as it makes it easier for them to buy HDB flats.

But how the village is branded and marketed is important. I don’t think it should be bluntly promoted as a Singles’ Village.

Suggestions to help singles pair up?

Jia-Er: The Government should implement compulsory “dating leave”.

Singles don’t get a lot of leave (unlike married couples and parents who have marriage leave and childcare leave), so it’d be good if we have, say, five days a year to go on dates.

Hairul: That could work, though whatever you want to do during that leave period remains an individual decision.

John: Back in the 80s and 90s, there was a dating game programme on Channel 8. It was pretty successful as money was given out to couples who really hooked up after the show.

I’m not sure whether it’d work in today’s context, but programmes like these are still very popular in Taiwan.

Yexiang: How about inspiring people through positive subliminal messages?

I was quite inspired by a colleague’s story recently – he got to know his girlfriend on abus. He just plucked up the courage to approach her one day.
Stories and snippets like his are quite motivational.

Personal reasons for staying single?

Jia-Er: I’m highly idealistic, and I admit to suffering from PPS, the “Perfect Partner Syndrome”.

I want to find the right one before settling down.

Having watched too many movies and read too many romance novels, very often, Ifind that in real life, it’s just not the same.

With age, I’ve mellowed, but I still hold my reservations towards marriage. I’ll get married only if I want to have kids.

Sharmani: My personality and wavelength differed greatly from my ex-dates. We just couldn’t click.

John: I would like to have a girlfriend, but my previous dates didn’t work out. We didn’t meet each other’s expectations.

Hairul: As for me, I was travelling a lot over the last four to five years for work. That didn’t work in my favour.

Yexiang: My last relationship was when I was studying in the US.

It’s a lot harder to find someone when you’re working. People tend to stick to their social networks. They don’t like to venture out (of their comfort zones).

Often, you try to get to know someone new, and all you’d get is a muted response.