updated 6 Apr 2011, 11:42
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Sun, Feb 27, 2011
The Star/ANN
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Too laid-back for her liking

I'M 25 years old and met Y, 23, at my previous job. We have been dating for a year. I'm doing quite well in my career and have a steady income while he is still unsure of his future. He is going back to his studies soon.

My family knows about us but my father does not approve of him as my boyfriend acts childish sometimes. He always talks about wanting to get married and spending his life with me but does not put much effort into advancing his career. He always waits for me to tell him what to do.

We constantly argue as I have plans and look forward to making them a reality while my boyfriend is very relaxed and wants to take things as they come.

It is hurting to know that a lot of people are talking behind our backs. They think I deserve better.

Deserve Better

WHEN it comes to the crux, you need assurance that marriage will offer love, stability and financial comfort. Unfortunately, your fellow seems oblivious to your concerns and wants to enjoy life without putting in too much effort.

So you need to ask yourself if he is right for you. Never expect that a fellow will change his basic character for you or anyone. If you need to quarrel to get him to move a step forward when you expect leaps, then what chance do you have at a future together?

If you love him enough to overlook his weaknesses, then you may be able to ride out the bad patches with him. But if the remarks and comments are causing you to feel unsure and uncertain, then you should think hard about this relationship.

Perhaps you should give it a breather and cool down. The frustration and resentment you feel is not conducive to love, let alone marriage. Talk to your guy and share your thoughts and feelings. If he loves you, he will try harder.

Maybe he is simply not ready for serious commitment and responsibilities. At 23, most guys prefer to relax and have a good time. Who wants to think of money, house, credit cards and diapers when life should be free and easy?

If you believe you deserve better, drop the idea of a future with this fellow for now. Explore other opportunities and you may find a man who meets your expectations. You can never mould a fellow into your ideal.

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