Dear Dr Date,

My husband says he loves me, but he is always so busy these days with work. He often snaps when I interrupt him while he's working. Why does his work always seem more important? Does it mean he doesn't really love me?

Yours, Lonely Laura

Dear Laura,

WHEN your man is hard at work, it does not necessarily mean he is shutting you out. Many of the most successful men in the world are like this. They are either in one mode or another.

For example, a man could be having serious problems with his wife, but still enjoy a fishing trip with his friends. On the fishing trip, a friend could ask, 'How are things at home?' He may say, 'Man, it sucks. Wow, look at the size of that fish!'

For some people, especially women, their intimate relationship touches every aspect of their lives no matter what they are doing.

A man who temporarily 'forgets' his relationship may not be avoiding his feelings. He just has a different way of approaching things. He exists in a world of problems, functions, and challenges. When he is focused on something, everything else disappears.

It is not fair for you to be neglected. So don't disown your feelings. If you really feel it is best for him to be interrupted, then go ahead and do it.

But remember that you will probably encounter some initial resentment because his mind is stuck on something else. It just means he needs some time to switch his attention to you.

This article was first published in The New Paper on Dec 14, 2008.