MY life has been turned upside down. I feel suicidal and thoughts of dying keep crowding my mind each time I am alone.

My life was blissful and perfect, with beautiful children and a lovely husband (or so I thought).

But 30 years of marriage went down the drain when I found that he has been cheating on me. He has been visiting prostitutes and going to erotic websites all these years.

My husband finds nothing wrong with that and that’s what saddens me most. He thinks that I am sick in the head.

I will not regret walking out of this marriage but I’m sad that I will hurt my children, who love their father very much, and turn their lives upside down. I would rather hurt myself than my kids, who think their parents are perfect.

I know my husband will not stop his hobby; once things have died down, he will continue again. I know I’ve never failed him in bed, having been always active entertaining his wild ideas.

When I found out about his activities and confronted him, he as good as admitted it, but refused to give me the details. I think he even has affairs. I thought he was my best friend and a perfect husband.

Deceived Wife

YOUR husband is not perfect. While you may want to shield your children from the ugly truth, can you live with it?

If he has made a hobby of seeking sexual gratification from prostitutes and by surfing erotic websites regularly, how are you going to stop him?

He had no qualms admitting his “activities”,which he had been indulging in over the past 30 years of your marriage! Is he sick, like the many famous sex addicts we read about who need rehabilitation at expensive clinics? Or is he simply selfish and indulgent about his sexual needs?

There are no excuses for his behaviour. He actually believes that it is harmless to pay for sex and explore his fantasies shamelessly. Ask yourself if you can bear this man to touch you, or profess his love now that you know how he has been cheating on you for so long.

Instead of being sorry and contrite for hurting you and causing you such pain, he firmly believes that he has done no wrong. Calling you sick in the head, and turning on you in anger is his way of shifting the blame.

He does not want to admit his faults and expects you to accept his follies. In his mind, he probably thinks that he has been a good husband and responsible father who had taken good care of his family.

He does not understand your pain and does not even try to comprehend the betrayal his actions spell for you and his children. You need to tell him how you feel. Do not even try to find fault with yourself.

You are a good wife and mother who has done the best for your family. Your children are old enough to understand about their father, so do not spare him the shame. Think for yourself and do not try to kill yourself for a man who has little consideration for you, his wife. You can have a life without him.