Offered husband to me

“She could see how busy I was. So she offered me her husband.” The family, part of the controversial Ikhwan Polygamy Club which says its mission is to improve the reputation of multiple marriages, believes it is a cure for social ills like adultery and pornography.

“Men by nature are polygamous, they have girlfriends and mistresses, they visit prostitutes – it is normal,” said Mrs Rohaya. She added: “God has made men like that. But in Islam there is a way out which means you must be responsible for the women you want to be involved with.”

They shrug off criticism that the club has its roots in Al-Arqam, a group banned by the Malaysian government which called it an illegal Islamic sect.

There has been controversy over plans to spread the club abroad, with branches in Indonesia to add to its network of 1,000 members across South-east Asia, Australia, the Middle East and Europe.

Mr Mohamad Ikram is a director with Global Ikhwan, a company whose diverse activities include restaurants and noodle manufacturing and which also manages the club.

“We want to say that polygamy works if you follow the rules of God. We don’t expect people to follow but we want to change the mindset,” said Mrs Rohaya. The women say that in such a big household, friction is inevitable but they have learned to resolve their problems.

In this household, the four wives seem to have an easy rapport with each other and their offspring. But sociologist Norani Othman from pressure group Sisters in Islam said that these educated women and thriving children are not the typical polygamous family.

She said that up to five per cent of marriages in Malaysia are polygamous, a figure that has risen as rules limiting multiple marriages have been watered downover the years.

However, she said that the practice’s original purpose has been warped, and that the strict conditions to ensure women are fairly treated are routinely ignored. “The Koran speaks of polygamy under certain circumstances – for example, a war where you have lots of war widows and orphans. Historically, (it was) a kind of emergency or welfare measure,” she said.

These days, men can rarely afford to properly care for multiple wives and hordes of children, particularly in Malaysia’s urban areas where the practice is becoming increasingly popular.

But Mr Mohamad Ikram and his family insist that polygamy can work well if those involved adhere to the rules laid out in the Koran.

“I consider myself lucky that I have four wives – it reduces the temptation to commits in,” he said.

“Even though it’s already enough, there’s always the desire to have more – one isn’t satisfied with just four,” headded with a smile.

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This article was first published in The New Paper.