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Not just men, women have impotency issues too

Q I am 40 years old but look much younger than my age. In my twenties I was quite pretty. Even now I don’t look too bad. I have inner beauty and intelligence as well. Most people say I am a nice person and believe I should have no problem finding a life partner.

But beneath external appearances, lies a huge secret that is so embarrassing that I can’t tell anyone, not even my parents. I am destined to be a spinster because I have the female version of impotence.

That means that I can’t have love, marriage and children. I was living in denial and hoping for a miracle somehow, but now at 40, I am beginning to realise that my future is grim. With each passing year my problem will get worse as our society still stigmatises single people.

I was told that there are many men out there who are impotent but perhaps men are more open about this problem. Women will just keep quiet and accept the life of a spinster.

I feel my problem is even worse than those who are heartbroken as they just have to tolerate a period of pain and then there is healing. They can find someone again and fall in love.

But my case has no hope. It is grim, hopeless and embarrassing as well. How can I continue living my life like that? I can’t even become a nun because I am not that enlightened.

No Hope

A Have you consulted a medical specialist about your problem? How can you be so sure that you are indeed suffering from impotence if you haven’t had a relationship with the right person?

Do not be surprised that many people are sexually ignorant. The perceived idea of sex and sexuality is often warped because we watch too many movies and read too many romantic, sexually hyped up literature. We have certain expectations and when we do not react as we think we should, then perhaps we believe we have a problem?

You have given up on love, sex and marriage too early in life. Do not be surprised that many of us cannot achieve sexual satisfaction or physical reaction when there is no emotional connection with the partner.

When afraid and nervous, we ‘freeze’ up. If your first or early physical experiences were with an ignorant partner, he would have blamed you for his failure to arouse and excite you.

You are attractive, desirable and intelligent. Why would you give up on living life fully when you are still in your prime? Have the courage to seek counselling and a thorough physical examination.

Assure yourself that you are fit and beautiful. Find yourself a man or woman (do not freak out if you are attracted to the same gender) you find attractive and do not fear crossing emotional and physical boundaries.

Should you really fail to achieve physical arousal and satisfaction, know that you can still have a fulfilling life. You are fearful because you feel alone and lonely. Consider adopting a child you could lavish love and care on.

Think of the many things you want to do for yourself and for others. Travel the world, plant trees, save the earth. Take care for loved ones, enjoy hobbies and activities. The list is endless and it means that living does not end with impotence.

readers' comments
A bit of advice, life certainly is not over at 40.
Your problems are your head and your expectations and priorities.Are you willing to lower your criterias, what ever they are ?

40 is certainly not young but to consider that as old and useless and past the shelf life, you see...that is the problem from the head. Don't trust your head anymore but see with your heart and you will notice that the world is a more credible and fun place to be in. There are guys out there who are interested in you but you chose to stick your head in the sand. You see... Its the head again...Sorry.

Most people said you were a nice person and believed that you should have no problem in finding a life partner.Prove that, not to them but to yourself. You owed yourself .....
Posted by kStreeter on Thu, 10 Dec 2009 at 06:30 AM
be satisfied with what u have n life is not just about marriage n men. u r just psychologically impotent, not physically. be positive! i got pregnant after trying for many years although both of us are healthy.
Posted by tizane.h on Sat, 28 Nov 2009 at 15:01 PM
Plese don't despair, there is hope for everyone. Speak to a counsellor your condition might just be psychological..or if need be a medical intervention could rememdy your positive!
Posted by heavenlyangel on Mon, 16 Nov 2009 at 17:24 PM
Erm, 4 posts within 10mins with 2 mentions of the website. Seems like some sales pitch going on here...
Posted by Mentos_cool on Mon, 16 Nov 2009 at 15:57 PM
secret on how to let woman begging for more
In five minutes you can have any of these proven secrets to make her climax more often, even if she’s never had an orgasm before! Dear Friend id you know that in a recent study, only 60% of the women said they enjoy vaginal sex AT ALL and only 25% achieve orgasm from traditional penetration?
Posted by workinginchina on Mon, 16 Nov 2009 at 14:45 PM
sorry... its
Posted by workinginchina on Mon, 16 Nov 2009 at 14:36 PM
secret on how to let woman begging for more in
Posted by workinginchina on Mon, 16 Nov 2009 at 14:36 PM
all these happens because many ladies or man in singapore do not know how to perform on bed. Dont need to be shy, This is a realistic problem. Education is important for the following:
“Why 99.9% of ALL Asian Men Cannot Pick-up Women They Are ATTRACTED To?
how to date girl from facebook …
A **Secret** New Discovery Gets You ANY Younger Woman You Want
Free Report: How to Attract a Man, Understand a Man, and Inspire a Man with Ease
The Way You Handle Calls, Emails, and Text Messages Will Seriously Affect
What Every Woman Absolutely Must Know About Pleasing Her Man!
How A Skinny Little Computer Nerd Stumbled Upon A Simple Secret For Making His Girlfriend
secret on how to let woman begging for more
Do You Know How To Make .....
Posted by workinginchina on Mon, 16 Nov 2009 at 14:35 PM
GundamwingX, you are so right and funny.
I think it's best that we comment in the most helpful and objective manner, as much as we can. Only then can this site be helpful to those gutsy enough to write in with their problems. I mean if I write in about my problem and this chap go on to slam me and all the educated female singaporeans, i'll probably regret big time.
Posted by Mentos_cool on Mon, 16 Nov 2009 at 14:17 PM
I support many readers' advise to you to seek medical treatment for the female disorder and you should try to meet guy. The advice was really useful. Being choosy : for example, rejecting a man shorter, with lower qualifications etc. I wish to contribute 1 more: don't be too busy on work and ignore man's call. I knew a man had a hard time chasing after a women of 30+. The man would help her to buy books for SIM classes at night and keep her company whenever he had chance. It was hard for him as she was busy at work. When the man's mother pass away, the woman did not turn up for her wake to talk to him. The man devastated at loss of mother eventually married another woman. The first woman now in her 40+ is still unmarried. She had blamed the man heartless. That's how .....
Posted by last_laugh on Mon, 16 Nov 2009 at 12:18 PM

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