Dr Robert Straughan likes to joke that his “cool” quotient is upped by association to his wife, Nominated Member of Parliament, Associate Professor Paulin Tay Straughan, and you can see why.

A sociologist at the National University of Singapore (NUS), her opinion is often sought by the media on subjects such as family issues and she appears in the news regularly.

He, on the other hand, is a senior mathematics lecturer at the Singapore Polytechnic who prefers to keep a low profile.

When she becomes excited about recounting an incident, she raises her voice and gestures animatedly to reenact the scenario.

He is more reserved, speaking in measured tones and pausing at times to think, forefinger on his pursed lips.

She enjoys watching Korean drama serials, a popular pastime shared by many Singaporeans.

He likes to build technically challenging objects such as a mechanical wall clock, which hangs on a wall in their four-room condominium apartment near Ghim Moh, and hunt down out of- production calculators.

He says matter-of-factly: “I’m not a social type of person, so I don’t seek out social contact.”

But he can be quite the romantic.

His favourite film is the 1944 romantic musical, Meet Me In St Louis, starring Judy Garland.

On the 10th anniversary of their meeting, he surprised her by pasting enlargements of their pictures around their home and giving her a Tiffany bracelet with Roman numeral designs to symbolise their relationship.

She was so touched that she bought him a matching Tiffany ring.

He also sends her flowers every Valentine’s Day.

She recalls: “One year, I decided to surprise him back and ordered a bouquet from a florist. I had a shock when I realised how expensive flowers were on Valentine’s Day, so I told him not to waste money anymore.”

But secretly, she enjoyed receiving flowers on Valentine’s Day and he knew it.

So, the next year, he gave her flowers the day before Valentine’s Day. And no, she did not chide him this time.

But perhaps his most moving gesture was leaving his close-knit family in the United States in 1990 to start a new life with her in Singapore.

Dr Straughan, 50, says: “The No. 1 challenge is being far away from my family. I am quite close to my sisters and my mother is still alive. But Paulin loves Singapore and she wanted to return home to Singapore and her parents.”

He visits his family in the US at least once every two years and is in touch with his mother via e-mail every few days.

Prof Paulin Straughan, 46, recalls helping him to unpack the 67 boxes of stuff he shipped over to Singapore and finding a giant stapler and boxes of staples.

“I couldn’t believe it. My first thought was, ‘Did he not think we would have staplers here?’

“But looking back, I realise that he loved me so much, he was willing to let me take him halfway around the world with no idea of what awaited him, except for a few comfort possessions that he had brought along.”

She grew up here and studied at the Convent of the Holy Infant Jesus in Victoria Street, Catholic Junior College and the National University of Singapore, graduating with a bachelor of arts in sociology and statistics.

She is an only child and her mother was a nurse.

That he had a good impression of Singapore when he visited in 1988, before the couple tied the knot two years later, also persuaded him to move here.

He says: “When I arrived in Singapore, stepped out of the airport and felt the humidity, it felt good because I was coming from the US. And there was so much greenery around, it was so beautiful. I was just enthralled by it.”

The warm reception from her family when he visited also made him feel at home here.

Her family lives in a three-room HDB flat in Commonwealth and when he first visited, it was occupied by her parents, grandmother and an uncle.

To accommodate him, her parents gave up their bedroom, the only room with air-conditioning.

Her Cantonese grandmother, who did not speak English, showed her affection by cooking delicious meals for him.

Her parents, who had no trouble conversing with him in English, happily played tour guide.

She says: “My parents were very pleased that Robert was such a gentleman. That he is American probably added some excitement to their lives.”

Such as the first time he used the squat toilet in their flat. He had not used one before and pulled the cord to flush the toilet too hard.

It snapped and created a mild commotion, though thankfully, no mess.

Beyond that episode though, he says there were no major culture shocks and his transition to life in Singapore was smooth.

“I cannot think of an easier place than Singapore to adapt to. Everybody I came into contact with spoke English and I never had any problem understanding Singaporean accents.

“As a child, I moved around a lot because my father worked as an officer in the US army, so I adapt easily to new environments.”

He was born and raised in Virginia.

His father, who died in 1989 after a stroke, was a helicopter pilot with the US army.

His mother, a housewife, and his older sister live in Georgia in the US, while his younger sister lives in Virginia.

The family also lived in Germany for four years when he was a child.

He attended the University of Virginia and after getting a bachelor of science in chemical engineering, he worked as a chemical engineer in Illinois and Los Angeles for Texaco, an American oil company.

He went back to the same university to pursue a doctoral degree in applied mathematics and it was there that he met Paulin Tay, who was pursuing a doctorate in sociology.

The couple returned to Singapore in 1990, and within a month, he found a job here with the global IT solutions company, NEC.

However, his job – developing mathematical software for supercomputers – involved a temporary posting to Japan, so the couple spent six months in Tokyo.

In 1991, they moved back to Singapore where he continued working with NEC while she started working as a sociology lecturer at NUS.

Their first home was a rented fourroom apartment in Normanton Park where they lived for three years before buying their first home, a cosy four-room condominium in West Coast Crescent.

A Singapore permanent resident, he says: “When we came to Singapore, I didn’t know we were going to be here this long. But time passes very quickly and after we got married, our first child, Robert, came along and we were in the process of living our lives.”

The couple have two sons, Robert, 17, who studies at Anglo-Chinese Junior College, and Timothy, 14, who studies at Fairfield Methodist Secondary School.

Dr Straughan later joined the Institute of High Performance Computing, now under the Agency for Science, Technology and Research, as a researcher. In 2000, he became a lecturer at Singapore Polytechnic.

He says: “I wanted to try teaching to communicate my love for the subject with others. It also allowed me to spend more time with my family.”

Indeed, family is a priority in his life.

His colleague, Dr Jaya Shreeram, 42, a mathematics and statistics lecturer at Singapore Polytechnic, says: “He is devoted to his family and even if he has work to do in the evenings, he will take it home so that he can spend time with his family.”

Like any father concerned about his children’s education, he coaches them when they need help with homework.

But he is also their play partner.

He plays video games on Wii and card games such as Monopoly Deal with Timothy.

They also go rollerblading together. He watches movies with his older son and they plan to rent two Harley-Davidson motorbikes and ride across the US,

going where their hearts lead them and enjoying a carefree existence for a month.

On how his role at home differs from his wife’s, he says she organises everything from the family’s day-to-day needs to holidays overseas while he handles the family’s financial planning.

He adds: “But we make important decisions by consulting each other.”

This applies to her recent appointment as a Nominated MP.

She was nominated by NUS, where she is vice-dean (undergraduate matters) of the Faculty of Arts and Social Sciences.

He says: “I worried a little about her because I didn’t want her to take on too much. But she manages her work-life balance very well. Also, she felt honoured to be recognised by the university so I wanted to support her.”

And she is grateful for his encouragement. She says: “For me to take on this public role, it has to be a partnership. And the person who stands behind has to take on a heavier load.”

But he brushes aside his increased responsibilities at home.

He says: “There have been some changes but they have been mostly minor. When she has to go to some events, then I will stay home with the kids.

“But that would be natural because I try to spend all my time with my family.”

He adds: “The most important thing a husband can do is to be devoted to his wife so that is what I want to do.”

And that alone makes him cool.

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This article was first published in The Straits Times.