TWO is not always better than one, not when you have two children sitting for major exams – one the A levels and the other, the O levels – in the same year.
Thus this year is crucial for my daughters, Michelle and Genevieve – and for me as well.
Back in January, they and their peers had been warned of a tough year ahead. Every day is a race against time to just complete school homework.
The girls get little sleep and end up looking wan, with bloodshot eyes.
In the first semester, for instance, both Michelle and Genevieve’s active school life posed great challenges. Straddled with key leadership duties, they learnt how to juggle academic matters alongside their co-curricular activities, not unlike busy executives.
Their occasional absence from meals with the extended family was, therefore, not surprising (though not encouraged).
As our society places utmost importance on academic excellence, helping my daughters manage this expectation – and also theirs – is important.
Having “been there” myself (three decades ago), I try to be understanding and offer a listening ear whenever it is needed.
At home after work, I’d do express mum-child catching up – such as helping them relax by chatting about non-academic stuff – and then leave the girls alone. At their age, personal space is very precious.
And when there is a need to talk business (that is, studies), I’d recount my embarrassing experiences, mistakes and failures, such as doing badly in additional mathematics umpteen times.
I’d also try to give advice on effective study methods, such as practising mathematics religiously to secure good grades.
I also share constructive criticism I received during my schooldays.
And I make a special effort to help my children plan an effective revision timetable.
For instance, I get them to evaluate the progress of their revision regularly and adjust their timetables accordingly.
More significantly, my daughters have learnt to take responsibility for their actions.
For example, after the occasional weekend outing with their friends, they make up by catching up on their schoolwork the following day.
Indeed, knowing my daughters’ friends and leisure pursuits helps me to manage their exam stress.
I create time-outs, organise small-group parties for them and their peers, and suggest quick window-shopping after dinner on weekends.
Ultimately, I believe in guiding them while letting them take charge.
After all, as parents, we areour children’s navigator inthis journey – they are the drivers.
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