A friend used to tell me stories of his brother's dating 'misadventures' over coffee. Let me share it here.

During his university orientation program, my friend's brother, B, had the opportunity to know some girls. One of them caught his attention and they did end up in the same lecture group.

So, B made his move, first giving her chocolates during one lecture break and tried to ask her out on a date - all in plain view of  her classmates. This made her feel uneasy and she rejected him.

In the next few weeks, B kept trying to woo the girls with chocolates and other goodies. But the girl continued to turn him down.

That didn't stop him, and he planned a grand scheme.

He bought her a bunch of flowers and wrote a card to her filled with phrases of "I like you. Will you be my girlfriend?".

He presented her with the flowers, this time in front of her classmates again. I don't need to tell you that she felt very embarassed, and you guessed it - told B to stay miles away from her.

She was so put off by B's advances, that she even asked the lecturer to transfer her to another lecture group so she won't have to run into B again.

After that painful experience, B decided that he failed because he either bought the wrong type of chocolates or gave her too little flowers!

That made me slap myself on the forehead so hard that I almost went into a coma.

The last I heard of B - he is still trying to woo women with his "chocolates and flowers" act, and remains single until now.

The biggest problem here is B may actually be so stuck with his 'chocolates and flowers' routine, that he will still continue to pull this trick and mistakenly conclude that if he does it enough times, he will eventually win the right girl over.

Unfortunately, B may never find out that getting a woman to desire a man is not about buying the right gifts.

After all, if a girl is attracted to you, she will still want you, flowers or not. The reverse is true if she does not feel attracted to a man.

Despite B's hilarious conclusion, therein lies the lesson. What has happened to him, and to many Singaporean males guys in a variety of ways, is what psychologists the "confirmation bias". This is when people tend to hear only the things that support their own ideas and ignore contradicting evidence.

When a guy becomes convinced of a method that he uses to try and win women over, he will continue to employ it, making him more close-minded to better and more powerful ways of attracting a female.

So, if you find yourself still unable to get a date, are you holding onto any beliefs or ideas about women and dating that are making you ignore these better methods and slowing down your success with women?

Most men whom I know have exciting dating lifestyles are almost never closed-minded to trying something new.


About the writer:

Skilldo is an 'ex-unhappy' Singaporean guy - who grew from being lonely, dateless and single... into breaking out of it, and obtained a fulfilling social life in meeting, dating and entering satisfying relationships with women.

He is the author of 'The Ultimate Singapore Girl-Getter'. A locally-focused guide for Singapore men to approach, date and  successfully attract the type of women they want for themselves.

He maintains a website containing secrets and training for men at - http://www.seductionsingapore.com