When Rachel Sim (not her real name) decided to break up with her boyfriend of two months late last year, he refused to let go.

With every passing week, her spurned suitor found new ways of harassing her - from stalking and berating her in public to sending messages filled with love or loathing.

The accounts executive called women's group Aware shortly after the announcement that Singapore will soon have a stand-alone law to protect victims of stalking and harassment. The Protection from Harassment Bill will be debated in Parliament this week.

The proposed law plans to give victims access to a range of options such as protection orders. It will also provide for the harassers to get mandatory mental health treatment, where necessary.

"I wish the law could be passed tomorrow," the soft-spoken 33-year-old woman told The Sunday Times in an interview last week. Fresh-faced, with her hair pulled up neatly in a tight ponytail, she looks far younger than her age and says she does not want to suffer in silence any more. "I need help right now and so does he."

Innocuous beginnings

It started like many romances do in this digital age - through Facebook when Ms Sim, who is single, accepted a friend request from a man she did not know. They had a friend in common and he had a nice smile in his profile picture.

They struck up a conversation online and, within a week, were chatting on the phone, sometimes late into the night. They bonded over a shared love for Cantopop music and swapped stories about hobbies. He loved cars; she, the martial arts.

He seemed caring and cordial, so when he asked her out on a date, she agreed. Soon they began a romantic relationship.

He would pay for dates at foodcourts and for cab rides. Occasionally, they went for drinks at watering holes in the city. She met his family.

Jealous outbursts

Trouble began early. By their third date, he was talking marriage and asking her how many children she would like to have. He became jealous and overly possessive. At a bar, he chided her for "smiling at men". He complained she was not spending enough time with him.

He liked to drink and would lose his temper often. When he "scolded" her, she cried. She says that when he tried to coerce her into having sex, she decided to call it quits.

Afraid to meet him in person, she called him to break off the relationship. He asked to meet her. She hung up. He called or texted her 60 times in a single day. She ignored them and eventually switched off her phone. He continued to call on her office line for months afterwards.

Taking it public

When she did not return his frantic calls and messages, he turned up near her workplace. "I was shocked to see him loitering at the bus stop near my office when I went out to run errands."

He said he needed to talk. When she refused, he dragged her to a nearby coffee shop.

When she stood her ground about breaking off, he began berating her loudly: "I spent so much money on you and now you want to break up with me."

Then he addressed the passers-by: "See, you all see."

When she tried to call the police, he snatched her mobile phone. In order to get rid of him, she agreed to be "just friends".

On two other occasions, he turned up outside a class she attends in the evenings. He told the class that she was the first woman who ditched him after sex.

"It was insulting and I could do nothing," says Ms Sim.

Facebook stalking

Right after the break-up, he also began sending her ardent messages on Facebook. Every time she blocked him, he opened a new account to send her more messages.

"There were more than 20 new accounts," she says. "I just could not escape them."

In one, he implored her to marry him and added: "Silent (sic) means consent".

Some messages were angry, others were ardent and obsessive. In one, he warned: "I can look for you non-stop, 10, 20 years down the road. I will never stop looking for you."

Another, sent close to midnight, read: "You are the one I love most, I love you a lot" - not once or twice, but more than 12,000 times.

Family not spared

Her family was soon drawn into her private hell. Once, when Ms Sim's father picked up her phone, the man began hurling Hokkien vulgarities and challenged her father to a fight.

She made her first police report a couple of days later. Undeterred, a few weeks later, he confronted her brother outside his work- place.

She also lodged a complaint against him in the courts and has been advised to go for mediation with him or hire a lawyer to pursue a civil case.

Hired PI

A couple of weeks after the obsessive "I love you" messages, she received another shock. He sent a dozen red roses to her house and called on the florist's phone as the roses were being delivered, asking to speak to her. She had never told him where she lived.

He later said online that he had hired a private investigator to find out her address and other personal details. "That's when I began getting really, really scared," Ms Sim says.

She made more police reports and made a Magistrate's Complaint in a bid to get the harassment to stop. But it did not.

Online impersonation

Last month, he began creating fake Facebook accounts in her name and began sending friend requests to men.The fake profile listed her educational background, where she worked and what she did in her spare time. "Pretty, cute and innocent," it said, adding, "I hope to find someone decent to marry... Please call me after 10pm."

Friends dragged in

He also sent vitriolic online messages to her friends and family. He told one friend: "I know why I hate her and want to cast black magic on her because she keeps reporting to the police and I can't lay a finger on her."

He also ranted that if she "went mad" or was "haunted by anything" or if "ill luck" fell on her, he should not be blamed. "SHE ASKED FOR IT!!!"

One of her male friends lodged a police report after being harassed and insulted by her former boyfriend.

Things have been quiet of late. Yet, she lives in trepidation that he will resume his harassment. All she wants is for his "toxic behaviour" to stop.

"I used to be happy and at peace," she says, smiling sadly. "I want my old life back."

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