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updated 19 Feb 2014, 11:43
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Thu, Jan 16, 2014
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School of Frock
by Jeanmarie Tan

Movie stars trumped their TV counterparts at this year's Golden Globes red carpet.

But surely they could've done better than this lacklustre showing? Our headmistress of haute couture Jeanmarie Tan grades the best- and worst-dressed celebrities at the event

DISTINCTION

KATE BECKINSALE

Gown: Zuhair Murad

You know what they say, if it ain't broke...

There's nothing that needs fixing when it comes to Beckinsale's go-to silhouette - the embellished strapless mermaid gown. Even though the British actress was just a presenter at the Globes, she was my belle of the ball courtesy of this spectacular gunmetal-patterned creation.

MILA KUNIS

GOWN: GUCCI PREMIERE

Like Beckinsale, the US actress made a cameo at the awards show, but similarly stole the limelight in a simple yet stunning metallic grey halter gown.

I love how the heavily sequined bodice cascading into an airy chiffon skirt reflects a mixture of hard and soft - just like Kunis herself.

PASS

OLIVIA WILDE

Gown: Gucci Premiere

Clutch: Emm Kuo

The US actress seems determined to emulate Kim Kardashian's maternity style of squeezing her expanding self and baby bump into as many body-conscious, form-fitting outfits as possible before popping.

And we all know anything to do with Kardashian is usually a bad idea.

Still, I'll make an exception because this shimmering emerald green long-sleeve gown is a dazzler.

ZOOEY DESCHANEL

GOWN AND SHOES: OSCAR DE LA RENTA

CLUTCH: CHARLOTTE OLYMPIA

This charming nude ensemble comprising cropped beaded cap-sleeve top and embroidered tulle skirt can be too twee for some, but I'm on board as it suits the US actress' personal style. Adorkable!

PASS.. BARELY

KALEY CUOCO

Gown: Rani Zakhem

Clutch: Jimmy Choo

The print on this romantic floral strapless corset gown is absolutely dreamy, but why did the newly married US actress have to ruin it with limp hair and smudged junkie makeup?

JULIA ROBERTS

Gown: Dolce & Gabbana

I had to double check that the Pretty Woman herself wasn't hitting 60 already, from the conservative attire she's been choosing of late.

The Hollywood superstar still looks hot in her mid-40s, so why hide those upper arms under a white button-down shirt tucked into an already snooze-worthy strapless black gown?

Roberts should really take her cue from fab-at-almost-50 Sandra Bullock and save the matronly stuff for Meryl Streep and Helen Mirren.

JENNIFER LAWRENCE

GOWN: CHRISTIAN DIOR

She may have won Best Supporting Actress for her movie American Hustle, but the US starlet disappoints in Dior again. The makeup is too heavy-handed, while the black ribbon bands make our sassy JLaw look like a wedding cake.

FAIL

PAULA PATTON

Gown: Stephane Rolland

Shoes: Charlotte Olympia

Whoever told the US actress she could pull off the avant garde look needs to find a new job.

I feel like attacking this white long-sleeve monstrosity with a pair of scissors because it's pooping mutant fabric from the shoulder.

LENA DUNHAM

Gown: Zac Posen

Dunham looked miserable in her yellow mermaid gown with an unforgiving sweetheart bustier that was painfully squishing the life out of her boobs. The awkward posture, stupid hair and ugly tattoo just made it too easy.

Turns out the US actress admitted "none of this is quite right on me".


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