Moving on

It's been a year since Jeff left us in the lurch. My children and I are now staying in a small rented room. 

To make ends meet, I bake and sell cakes and sweet snacks. I'm struggling to feed my children and pay the rent, but I'm thankful that my landlord isn't chasing me for it - she understands my situation and pities me. 

Somtimes, my friend gives me some money to help me pay my bills.

I'm constantly stressed and depressed over my bad luck. But I refuse to let my kids be affected by my tears.

I constantly keep them occupied so that they won't have time to think about their father.

I'm considering seeking help from the Government, but I don't know how to go about it.

I'm not fussy - I'll do any decent, legal job as long as my children can still go to school and have a good education.

I'm glad that my young ones have stopped asking about their father. I, too, have stopped crying over him. He just isn't worth my tears.

A chance meeting with an old frend of Jeff's some months back gave me the answers I had been searching for. It seemed my 'perfect' husband had been unfaithful to me all this while.

His regular visits overseas were to be with his mistress. This friend had known about his affair all along, but didn't want to say anything to me as he didn't want to get involved. 

He told me that Jeff now had many mistresses and was living it up overseas. No doube with my share of the money from our flat, I thought.

I was livid, yet felt resiged to my fate. I considered finding Jeff to confront him and beg him to come home. But I was also scared that he would reject me, so I gave up on the idea.

Jeff and I are still legally married. 

I don't think I'll start proceedings for a divorce unless he returns home and asks me for one. 

As much as I hate him for what he's done, there's still a part of me that still loves him... I still harbour a sliver of hope that he will return to me one day.

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