No matter what you may think of having more than one wife, polygamy is not an easy lifestyle. Here is one husband's account.

Mohd Osman Salleh, a 54-year-old photographer for Berita Harian admits that trying to be fair to his two wives is never an easy task. He said: "No matter how hard I try to be an impartial husband, my wives feel that I have never been fair to them. This is what saddens me greatly."

Mr Mohd Osman, also known as Mos, is open about his status as a man with two wives. But his wives have declined to be interviewed or even to be photographed together for the article that was first published in Sutra.

Mos' story is unique, as he had divorced both his wives before remarrying them both again.

Mos married his first wife when they were 20 and 18 years old respectively. They had met the wedding of one of Ms Molek's family member.

They had three children, and Mos admitted that he never intended to marry another as Ms Molek has always been a good wife.

That was until he met Ms Azizah Abu Bakar in 1992, a divorcee three years younger than Ms Molek and with three children of her own.

He found out that Ms Azizah was still facing problems with her ex-husband and was interested in her story as a learning point for women who have been betrayed by their ex-husbands.

He told Sutra that he asked to keep in touch with her, as he was interested in writing about her difficulties.

They met for meals and movies, and Mos claimed that he even brought Ms Molek along for these outings and did not keep her story from his wife. But he also began to develop feelings for Ms Azizah and her children.

But Ms Molek was unwilling to share her husband with another woman. She did not reject the idea of sharing her husband with another woman outright, but asked for time to think through it.

Later, Mos said he received a positive sign from Ms Molek, who asked him to buy a ring for Ms Azizah. But the latter's family were against the marriage. So Mos went to Kelantan to meet Ms Azizah's father, who eventually gave them his blessings to marry.

Ms Molek was crushed to learn of Mos' second marriage, although Mos said she finally accepted the situation about six months later.

To ensure that both parties are treated equally, Mr Mos sold off his first flat with Ms Molek and bought two four-room units in separate areas, naming each wife as the main owner. He also pays for both flats' monthly instalments besides ensuring that his wives have enough money for the household expenditure.

But Mos eventually caved in when both wives demanded a divorce from him. The women thought he was being biased when he came back later than usual. He decided to divorce them both in 1998 simultaneously, "to be fair".

But Mos was not happy without his wives, although he continued to maintain both women. He decided to remarry them again.

Nowadays, his plans for both families come in pairs.

Holiday plans are made for both families, but carried out separately, and the same goes for Hari Raya. He will visit his parents and elders with his first wife in matching baju kurung (traditional costume), before doing the same with his second wife in a different set of matching costumes.


For fuller details, pick up your March copy of Sutra at all major newsstands now.