This week, our focus is on women and the decision to have children. Or rather, not to have any.
You see, a few weeks ago, there was an impassioned debate in Parliament when MPs brought up the possibility of encouraging adoption rather than abortion to help our rather dismal fertility rate.
Acting Minister for Social and Family Development Chan Chun Sing ultimately said it wouldn't be a long-term solution to the total fertility rate, but we decided to scrutinise the issue a little more closely.
Abortion is an issue that has a long-ranging impact, especially on the women who have had them.
While we don't even want to contemplate a society that bans abortion, it really isn't easy for would-be parents, no matter how nonchalant they may act.
I know several friends who have terminated pregnancies, for reasons ranging from medical, psychological, financial... the list goes on. Whatever the reasons, each woman still feels the impact - years, or even decades later.
I, too, have my story. Until today, I still mourn for my two babies whom I had to abort.
Both times, I did not have a say in the decision. Both times, the same gynaecologist coldly announced that "there's nothing we can do except to take it out".
The "it" was my baby.
I remember how ecstatic my husband and I were when we found out we were pregnant. This was about six months after we got married, and well, about 16 years ago. But the memory is fresh.
when we found out I was pregnant, about six months after we got married.
We were in our mid-20s and all ready to become parents. And to ensure we got off on the right track, we even asked around our friends and did doctor-shopping before we picked one in private practice.
Our rationale: You pay more money but for better professional attention.
Twelve weeks later, at a point when we thought we had made it safely past the first trimester, the doctor broke the news: "I cannot detect any heartbeat."
Three hours later, we were on our home, minus the new life we thought we'd created. It was deja vu 11 months later.
After two months of check-ups on alternate days to get jabs to stabilise the womb, we were told: "I cannot detect a heartbeat." And I went through the second abortion.
What followed were days of devastation, anguish and later, depression.
It took nearly three years - and only after our firstborn safely made his way into our lives - before I recovered emotionally and psychologically. But I still think of them.
Each woman must make her own decision when it comes to having babies. But my call is to pay attention to that long-term impact.
And it's not just the women who suffer. Men too, like Ms Mary Tan's ex-boyfriend (Page 4) who says "until today, when I see babies or little children, I wonder what it would have been like if we had our baby".
Perhaps it is time to re-examine if more can be done to help women re-think the process. It would require society to be less judgemental so that abortion does not have to be the knee-jerk reaction to save someone from shame.
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