No parent wants to see his child unhappy.

Indeed, a happy child will be able to concentrate better in school and cope with challenges positively.

He will also have a stronger immune system and, thus, fall sick less frequently.

A happy child with positive self-esteem is confident of his abilities and sees setbacks as temporary. He learns from mistakes and engages in positive coping strategies.

Most importantly, a happy child is able to manage his emotions effectively.

Here are some ideas on how you can help your child build positive self-esteem, as well as manage his stress and anger.

HELP YOUR CHILD BUILD POSITIVE SELF-ESTEEM

1. Find strengths

Encourage him to try different activities to find out what he is good at. Explain that different people excel at different things and he should be proud of what he has achieved.

2. Praise generously

Always praise your child's efforts whenever he performs a task well, no matter how small it is. This helps to reinforce positive behaviour, increase his motivation and build self-esteem.

3. Spend time together

Put aside some time for your child and make him feel that he is important to you.

Give your child full attention when playing with or listening to him.

4. Manage expectations

Every child progresses at a different rate. Do not compare your child with other children.

Praise his efforts so that he feels motivated to work harder the next time and to explore ways to improve his performance.

5. Encourage independence

Give your child manageable tasks to complete by himself.

Support and guide him through any problems and praise him when he completes the task. Encourage him when he faces difficulties.

6. Build friendships

Give your child opportunities to socialise.

Take him to the playground and introduce him to the kids in the neighbourhood. Let him invite his friends home to play.

7. Avoid labels

Do not use negative words like "lazy", "naughty" or "stupid". Explain to your child that it is the action that you do not like. Help him realise the problem is not him, but the behaviour.

HELP YOUR CHILD LEARN HOW TO HANDLE STRESS

Stress can affect a child's physical, emotional, social and intellectual well-being.

Help your child face his problems by teaching him the necessary skills to deal with them. But how do you know if your child is stressed?

Look out for sudden changes in his emotions, behaviour, thoughts and routines:

He is usually happy, but suddenly becomes sad.

He has always enjoyed going to school, but now hates it.

Here's how you can help your child to cope with stress.

1. Sleep well

Make sure your child gets enough sleep every night. Maintain a regular bedtime and waking time.

2. Relax

Let your child do things that he enjoys, be it playing outdoors with friends or listening to music, so as to help him relax.

3. Model positivity

Children learn by watching their parents. Show him that stress is normal and can be handled effectively and healthily. For example, going for a jog helps one to relax and reduce stress.

4. Teach him how to handle criticism

Whether it is teasing from friends or comments from teachers and other parents, let your child know that no one is perfect and that we can learn from every experience.

5. Develop a routine

Children need predictability and routines. Let your child know what to expect. This gives him a sense of control so that he feels less helpless and stressed.

6. Teach problem-solving skills

Sit with your child and teach him how to identify a problem, come up with possible solutions and brainstorm for the best. Eventually, he will learn to do this on his own.

7. Speak to a trusted adult

Encourage your child to speak to a trusted adult in different settings whenever he faces problems so that he does not bottle things up.

Help him identify the people whom he can talk to - such as his teacher or school counsellor - and practise ways of asking for help.

HELP YOUR CHILD LEARN HOW TO MANAGE ANGER

Anger is a normal emotion, and one that even some adults have problems managing.

Kids are quick to flare up, but most get over it quickly.

Some, however, may not be able to control their feelings as well as others.

Here's what you can do to teach your child about dealing with anger.

1. Identify triggers

Ask your child what or who made him angry and why. Help him express his feelings. This will enable him to understand that it is the behaviour and not the person that has upset him.

Discuss how to resolve the conflict constructively.

2. Positive affirmation

Teach him to think positively. Your child can learn to tell himself: "Relax! I don't need to get angry about it" and "I am not going to let him bug me".

3. Relaxation helps

Teach your child breathing techniques to calm himself down. Engage in physical activities, such as jogging, to release tension. If your child prefers, he can draw or write to express his feelings.

4. Speak to a trusted adult

Encourage your child to talk to someone if he cannot resolve a conflict and continues to feel angry.

Tell him that talking to someone helps him feel better and allows him to find more ways to solve the problem.

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This article first appeared on the website of the Health Promotion Board. For more information on how to build a positive parent-child relationship, visit www.hpb.gov.sg

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