If there's one thing that H rues about our marriage, it is that we don't have children. It won't happen, I tell him.

It can't. I'm too old.

He's ever so optimistic though.

Every time there's a blip in my cycle, he thinks there's a chance we might have a baby or, as he puts it, "a cute little Sumiko to squeeze and cuddle".

Fat chance, I say.

The reason I'm late is that my hormones are out of whack.

I'm not pregnant. I'm peri-menopausal.

In any case, I continue, I have already given you two "sons".

Slowly but surely, we're turning into one of those childless couples who dote on their dogs.

We have two - a seven-year-old bichon frise called DeeDee whom I've had since he was a puppy, and Nicky, a short-haired chihuahua we adopted last year whose age is not known.

We refer to them as "our boys", "our sons" and "the children".

In the spirit of marital equality, DeeDee takes my surname and Nicky takes his.

When we talk to them, our voices go up a notch and we (okay, mostly me) say barf-worthy things such as "Are you waiting for mummy?" or "Ask daddy to give you a biscuit."

We think they are adorable, the cutest dogs in the world (although DeeDee is his favourite and Nicky is mine).

We trade bulletins about their antics that only we as "parents" would appreciate (DeeDee was restless last night and climbed up and down the bed three times; Nicky was prancing like a cat playing with his food this morning - that sort of updates.)

On weekends, he spends hours cutting DeeDee's hair and nails while I spend hours bathing and drying them both.

We hang out at pet shops arguing over whether they should be given treats (H says yes, I say no. It makes them fat, I say, but then again, I'm the one who feeds them scraps from the table.)

We have actually stood, hand in hand, in front of the dogs while they were asleep, soaking in how beautiful they are with their wet, little black noses, and feeling blessed to have them - just like how parents look on tenderly at their sleeping children.

To people who don't like dogs, all this must sound sad, if not mad.

It is commonly accepted that children bind a marriage, make it stronger and give it more meaning.

Having kids is (mostly) enjoyable and proven to be associated with higher levels of happiness.

I think one reason couples have children is because there's only so much love, companionship and fun a spouse can give you, and you him.

How does one fulfil the human desire for even more helpings of all this? Via children, of course.

But what if you are childless, like me? The next best thing must be to have a pet to love, and who loves you.

In my case, a pet has always meant a dog. I've never had a period in my life where I didn't have one.

H didn't start off as a dog person. He'd only ever had one dog in his life, a daschund when he was a child, and wasn't very familiar with them.

When we met, he had actually just rescued a kitten from the street. (Oh no, I thought, am I marrying a cat person?)

I brought out the dog lover in him and, luckily, we have been able to see eye to eye on all aspects of pet ownership.

While he might have preferred bigger dogs, he's okay with small breeds.

Like me, he's fine with DeeDee sleeping on the bed (Nicky is too small and will fall off). He doesn't grumble at how expensive vet fees are or when I buy expensive brands of dog food.

He's not squeamish about their pee and poo and is happy to clean up after them. He even came up with a vinegar concoction to clear the floor of their smell.

He doesn't mind when I get into a silly mood and describe Nicky as my "husband dog". He accepts that there are times the dogs come first.

When I come home from work, for instance, I'd rather wind down by playing with them than talking to him.

They say dogs have an uncanny sixth sense and it's true.

When we decided to get married and H came over to live with me, DeeDee behaved most strangely.

He always barks hysterically at strangers but when H arrived from the airport, he acted as if the appearance of this big, strange man was the most natural thing in the world.

He didn't bark, not even a little woof. He just wagged his tail, padded around the house and next thing we knew, was jumping onto the bed and plonking himself next to H.

Counsellors say marriages would be stronger if we were to treat our spouses with the same love, patience, gentleness and forgiveness we shower on our pets.

Just compare the way you greet your spouse when you get home to how you treat your dog. There's a lesson there.

A study done by the State University of New York in Buffalo found that couples who own a cat or dog share a closer relationship, interact more often and get less easily stressed compared to couples with no pets.

It's true in my case.

The two dogs have helped our marriage and made us happier people. They make the home more fun, give us a focus in our lives and more things to talk about, and they are creating shared memories. It's also hard to remain mad with each other when you're bursting to report yet another adorable thing they did.

How H treats them has also made me see him in a more positive light.

I once knew a guy who kicked aside my little dog with his foot. It was done in an unthinking moment, and when I asked him about it, he just laughed it away. But that image never left me.

He was a handsome, charming man but the incident made me wonder what he really was like. Behind that smiling facade, was there something meaner and intolerant?

As I write this on a Saturday morning, H is reading the newspapers, DeeDee is sprawled by his feet and Nicky is in his corner nibbling a toy.

We might not have children but it sure feels like we are a family.

[email protected]

Get a copy of The Straits Times or go to straitstimes.com for more stories.