[Photo: (left) Miss Siti Noraini with her two kids. She is holding an old photo of Mr Almach with their first child, a daughter. (right) The couple on their wedding day in 2004.]
Despite her friends' protests, this Singaporean married a Bangladeshi lift mechanic after a three-year courtship. They were forced to live apart for six years. He died in 2010 and she's supporting their two kids. But for this stock taker, there is only love, not regret.
For five long years, the young lovers tried to keep their marriage together by making daily long-distance phone calls.
Between 2004 and 2009, stock-taker Siti Noraini spent hundreds of dollars on concession phone cards so that she could hear the voice of her Bangladeshi husband, Mr Almach Sheikh.
But in the end, reality kicked in.
Long hours at work to make ends meet, coupled with the demands of rearing two children single-handedly meant Ms Noraini could no longer keep up with the frequent conversations, so the two drifted apart.
Two years ago, Mr Almach died in Bangladesh from a migraine-related illness, said the 29-year-old woman. She does not know what the illness was.
His brother called her the day after he died to break the news to her.
But she could not make it to the funeral there because there was simply "no budget", she says quietly.
Now, all she has of their relationship are fading photos and memories.
He was her "first real love", says Ms Noraini. She had boyfriends when she was still in school, but her relationship with Mr Almach was "the first serious one".
The two met 12 years ago. He was a lift mechanic working for HDB on its Lift Upgrading Programme in a Hougang estate, where she still lives.
She was 18 and he, 21.
So who made the first move?
A twinkle shines through her tired eyes: "Of course, he, lah."
She cannot remember when he asked her out or where they went on their first date, but she says she was attracted to him because he was "very friendly".
"He wasn't that good-looking but he treated me very well. He spent a lot of his salary on me when we went out, buying me things like chocolate, clothes and so on," she says of her late husband, who earned $1,500 to $1,800 a month.
She adds: "Whenever we quarrelled over small things, he wouldn't raise his voice nor his fist. He would always talk to me nicely."
A year after they first met, the two became a couple.
Ms Noraini, who initially hid the relationship from her family, had to tell them when she found out she was pregnant with her first child in 2003.
Her parents objected to the relationship.
"It was mainly because he came from a different country," she says, adding that her friends also disapproved of their relationship.
"Friends asked me why I wanted to marry this man," she recalls. "It really didn't matter to me that he was from Bangladesh. I loved him, and we wanted to get married."
Her parents eventually got over their anger and her mother encouraged her to get married.
In 2004, the couple tied the knot in Bangladesh. They reckoned approval to do so in Singapore would not be granted.
After the wedding and a month's stay in Bangladesh, the couple returned to Singapore, where Mr Almach hoped to get a long-term visit pass for foreign spouses.
But the pass was never granted despite many applications.
Ms Noraini estimates that she tried no fewer than 20 times to appeal for him after he had to leave that same year, but her efforts were futile.
"After a couple of failed applications and speaking with MPs, I knew that the chances of getting an approval were slim, but I just kept trying anyway.
"What to do?" she adds with a wistful smile.
The soft-spoken woman found herself pregnant again after returning to Singapore.
Her second child, a son, has taken on her husband's surname.
She says Mr Almach did not return since leaving in 2004.
These days, waves of nostalgia still hit her during the rare moments when she thinks about him or looks through their photographs, but her growing children, aged nine and seven, keep her mind and hands full.
While Mr Almach was alive, Ms Noraini told her children that their father was overseas. When they ask about him now, she tells them that he is dead.
The single mother, who is not seeing anyone, says all she wants to do is to work hard to support her children and watch them grow up well.
If the right one comes along, well, she will not rule out marrying again.
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This article was first published in The New Paper.
