FOUR months ago, I broke up with my boyfriend of five years. I'm 26. Six months ago, I got to know A, who is in his late 30s. Physically, he is good-looking and has everything I am looking for.

A was there for me when I broke up with my ex - the way he hugged me made me feel so safe and warm. We have been intimate. We meet up once a week but not always for the intimate stuff. Sometimes it's just dinner and movies. When we're together, A treats me well.

I miss him a lot but I don't know if that's because I like him or I just want a companion since there has been no one special after the breakup.

A did say he wants to date me but can't as he has unresolved issues with his ex - they were together for nine years - which have been dragging for a year now. He doesn't have the time to maintain a proper relationship and is not the type who wants marriage.

I always wish that my phone would buzz because A called. I am a shy girl and don't usually talk to people I do not know.

But with A, I feel so comfortable even from the first time. I feel like I've been with him for a really long time. The most scary part is I have a sixth sense about him that I never had with my ex.

There is another guy, B, also in his 30s, who I know really likes me for three years now. He liked me when I was with my ex, and still does today. He's big-sized like my ex, but not as good-looking as A.

B treats me very well and is financially stable as well. The problem is that he works in another country. He came back last month just for me and spent a few thousand during those few days. He has asked me to be intimate with him but I refused because I don't feel that way about him yet. And I was thinking of A while I was with B.

Also, I do not have much confidence in long-distance relationships. I'm scared that if I get emotionally attached to B, I will be very sad when he's not here when I need him. Besides, I do not know when can we see each other again - I don't like the idea of seeing my boyfriend once every few months.

B is someone I have known for years but we didn't have a chance to really get to know each other until recently. That is also why I couldn't be intimate with him. But I am not sure why I could with A.

The feelings are just different. I feel warm and comfortable with A; with B, I only feel okay. But I know B is serious about me and he's the marrying type.

Do I miss A because I've been intimate with him? Do I tell him about B? Do I ask A if he would wants to be serious? Is it too soon to discuss that?

Or should I just forget about A as things are so uncertain with him and just learn to like B?

Do you think A will change his mind after he settles the issues with his ex? But how long will that take?

Just so confused

IF A is still trying to resolve issues with his ex after a year, he is probably still not ready for a fresh relationship. And you do not want to try to like B because liking is not being in love.

You are stuck because you prefer A to B. You are giving all the excuses for A and creating reasons not to be with B. So it is not fair to use B as a backup for heartbreak in the event that A tells you, honestly, that he is not interested in you.

It's brutal, but it is better to know than dream and hope. At this point, A and you are between failed relationships. Sex is a binding factor emotionally, especially for a vulnerable woman like you.

Take a break from love if you are feeling unsure and reluctant. You do not want to be trapped in a loveless relationship with B while you hanker secretly for A. So be patient and bide your time.

Continue dating A and B until you are more in control of your feelings. Explore other relationships, too, so you can sort out the web in your heart and mind. Perhaps you are not in love with either A or B. They're just convenient at this point of your life.