Here's the thing: When we are in love, when all the world is shiny bright and our beloved can do no wrong, we give ourselves entirely, unthinkingly, recklessly. We leave our dirty laundry out for inspection, show the skeletons in our closets and reveal the emotional baggage we are shouldering.
It can all come back to bite us in the you-know-what when the relationship ends, especially if it is a bitter breakup. Someone else suddenly knows our inside story, and has got the dirt (a whole great heaping) on us. The same person who would once have taken a bullet for us is now looking to use it to knock us off our pedestal.
Some of us do petty and malicious things that would put Alex, the mad, bad and dangerous to know woman who would not be ignored from Fatal Attraction, to shame. Cee Lo Green's "F@@% You" song could be taken as a battle anthem, with the late-night miscalls, the social network stalking (who is he/she with now?), the bad-mouthing to anyone who will listen our modus operandi.
But enough about me. Who hasn't heard stories of a dutiful wife who, when dumped by her charlatan husband for greener pastures, made it a point to apprise others of the man's shady ways? Or the woman who, when her intended hubby left her almost at the altar, was not going to go quietly: She wanted everything back from him, her last squeeze for a pair of formica chopsticks.
Don't take the above to be some sort of validation of the expression"hell hath no fury like a woman scorned". Men can be just as spiteful and vengeful when there is a parting of the ways. Witness the several male celebrities who have used their children as pawns to retaliate against their former wives.
Celebrities must play their dramas out in front of the public. Let's dredge up a few notable ones from the recent past.
JENN AND BRAD
America's sweethearts Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt were supposed to be the lovebirds able to buck the trend in divorce-minded Hollywood. But Mr. Pitt's absence from home on the set of Mr and Mrs Smith led to rumors of sparks flying with co-star Angelina Jolie. Where there's sparks, there's fire, and the couple divorced in 2005 after five years of marriage and seven years together. Aniston remarked in a magazine interview that the way the breakup was handled, especially by Jolie, was "not very cool".
DICK AND LIZ
In Hollywood's ultimate on-again, off-again relationship, Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton were married to each other twice (Burton left his first wife and two daughters for Taylor after they fell in love on the set of Cleopatra in 1960). The first marriage had lasted 10 years and the second, coming only a year after their divorce, was a short-lived eight months. The hard-drinking Welshman and the impulsive, strong-willed beauty, although deeply in love, could not tame their fiery natures. "Our love is so furious we burn each other out," Burton, who died at the age of 58 in 1984, once said. When Taylor died in March, it was her marriages to Burton that also were eulogized in many articles.
TIGER AND ELIN
It was the (golf) shot heard around the world: A late-night call to police about a shattered car window led to the unraveling of the marriage of the world's greatest golfer Tiger Woods and his pretty Swedish wife Elin Nordegren. It also contributed to the rapid dismembering of Woods' squeaky-clean public image, with a host of women - from waitresses to socialites to porn starlets - coming forward to acknowledge romps with the father of two. Nine months after the incident, the pair divorced, with Nordegren reportedly receiving a US$100 million settlement.
AHMAD AND MAIA
Ahmad Dhani and Maia Estianty were Indonesian music royalty. While both had a history of messy disputes in their music alliances, these were mere scuffles compared with their own rancorous parting of the ways. Talented but always controversial Dhani, with his collection of old military uniforms and, to many, similarly old-fashioned public pronouncements on the position of women, put the screws to his former wife, including keeping their three sons. Maia, for the most part, has kept a more dignified silence, although she has not been averse to making a scathing statement or two about former girl-group mate Mulan Jameela, now reportedly Dhani's wife.
DONALD AND IVANA
Tycoon Donald Trump and statuesque wife Ivana (a former Czech ski champion) appeared the quintessential 1980s power couple. But when Donald's affections shifted to former beauty queen Marla Maples, Ivana was not about to go quietly, leading to a much-publicized confrontation with the younger woman at a ski resort. After a bitter divorce, Ivana is reported to have received a bundle in cash and property. Time heals everything, apparently, because The Donald, long divorced from Ms. Maples and happily married to Melania Knauss, hosted Ivana's 2008's nuptials to much younger Rossano Rubicondi.
MARTINA AND JUDY
In the less tolerant 1980s, eyebrows were definitely raised when openly lesbian tennis player Martina Navratilova would hug her lover, divorced mother of two Judy Nelson, after a championship victory. After seven years of traveling the world together, Navratilova decided she wanted out. "When Martina decides to say goodbye, she doesn't look back. I never saw it coming. I thought she adored me," Nelson told the Daily Mail in 2008. She sued for so-called "galimony" for her years spent taking care of Navratilova, and after an emotionally charged trial they reached an out of court settlement. Nelson, who is now the lover of Navratilova's former girlfriend author Rita Mae Brown (must be some serious story swapping going on there), told the Mail she had not talked to the tennis player for 17 years.
TOM AND NICOLE
Onetime Hollywood top gun Tom Cruise and his Australian wife Nicole Kidman dealt with a lot of media scrutiny throughout their marriage, especially speculation about his ties to Scientology and his sexuality (alluded to in Ricky Gervais' cheeky monologue at this year's Golden Globes). But when the marriage did end after 10 years, it was sudden and shocking (Kidman reportedly was three months pregnant when Cruise filed for divorce, and later had a miscarriage), and it still has not been fully explained. Both have moved on; Cruise married Katie Holmes, and Kidman the singer Keith Urban. It was a publicly amicable split, although Kidman quipped in an interview that she could finally wear high heels after the divorce.
KD AND ANANG
Ordinary disgruntled mortals leave as their parting shot a mean SMS or something unmentionable in an unflushed toilet. But you'd better beware if your former love is a talented songwriter, as singer Krisdayanti found out after her marriage to Anang Hermansyah ended amid allegations of her infidelity. He penned two hit songs alluding to his relationship with the diva, the first declaring "you betrayed me" and the second, sung with daughter Aurel, telling of living "without a star". After repeated listening, they really do not come across as self-serving and vindictive. Really they don't. Well, KD has certainly moved on, marrying new love Raul Lemos in Jakarta in March.
LIZA AND DAVID
With her Cabaret heyday and wild Studio 54 interlude long behind her, the ailing, overweight Ms. Minnelli (who reportedly liked a tipple or two) needed someone to help her get back on track. No one saw that svengali coming in the unlikely and dare we say creepy form of sometime entertainment entrepreneur David Gest. He took her on TV shows, made her over and got her in shape and also gave her showy snogs in public. Eww. Thankfully, the marriage was over in no time at all, with both accusing each other of being nasty people. Liza is still plugging on, and last heard David was under a rock somewhere. Allegedly.
MICK AND JERRY
Mick Jagger and Jerry Hall, longtime frequent visitors to Bali, married in 1990 in a Hindu ceremony on the island. They had already spent 13 years together, had two children (two more would follow) and the Texan model had put up with her Rolling Stone's wandering eye. But she decided enough was finally enough in 1999 after a Brazilian model announced she had a child with the lush-lipped one.
CHARLIE AND ...
Well, that would have to be everybody. Mr. Sheen has broken a lot of hearts, and tables and doors and light fixtures.
