I had a boyfriend, X, and we were together for two years. But we were separated because of a crisis concerning religion. He does not own any assets, like a car or house.

I returned to my hometown to forget the entire episode.

My family disliked X, but I was very happy with him during our time together. He is caring and responsible, and the way he treated me made me feel like I was in heaven. I furthered my studies and found another guy, Y. When he proposed to me, I accepted as I was in a dilemma. Besides, I wanted to forget about my past.

Y has introduced me to his family, and we're planning to get married within two years. We have bought a house, which is under both our names. But Y is not caring, and does not have any sense of humour. Recently, I saw X in my hometown.He approached me and asked: "Are you willing to marry me?" I said no, because I'm with Y.

X is still single, and waiting for me.

The truth is I am not happy with Y, whereas I was happy with X. But I've bought a house with Y, and I'm really confused.

Confused

IF you are happier with X, then why consider marrying Y? Does owning a house make up for marrying a man whom you find uncaring and joyless?

It seems reasonable to leave X because of religious differences and family pressure. But if you have to compromise love for material comforts, then you are making a huge mistake. Think hard before you get married.

Do you really want to spend the rest of your life with a man who does not care about you, who doesn't know how to share fun and laughter with you? How would you bring up your children if they can always sense that their parents are shallow and superficial?

Meeting X again has rekindled your feelings and sparked doubts in your heart and mind. While Y seems able to offer a safe, uncomplicated relationship, you are well aware of the lack of feelings between you. You are now caught in a twist because you have committed to a house with Y and the promise of marriage. Walking away now would cause havoc and scandal within your family. But should you decide that marrying X is the right choice for you, then just break off with Y, sell the house and start again with X.

Your family should respect your decision as this is your life, your future. Talk to them and seek their understanding and blessing as you would want their support.

Ultimately, you need to be honest with yourself. What would really make you happy and fulfilled? Some women prefer financial security. Some women would die for love. Perhaps you need a balance of both.

Ask yourself again if Y or X is the better man for you.