IT happened while we were still in school. It was love at first sight when I met V.

However, I did not approach her then because I thought that love would affect our studies. Therefore, I waited four years until she had finished school.

After that, I approached her, just as a friend.

We have been messaging each other daily for nine months now.

However, what saddens me most is that during V’s last year in school, she fell for K.

That hurt me deeply. Although I knew that they both loved each other, I just could not leave her because I am deeply, truly and madly in love with her.

V tells me to look for a different girl, but I am the stubborn type.

Recently, K had some issues with V and wanted to break up because he felt like he had never experienced the single life. He wanted her to make a decision on that.

V came to me for a shoulder to cry on. She started bringing up situational questions such as, “What would you do if your girlfriend did this? Would you let her go?”

I was dying inside to answer each of her questions. Instead, because I did not want her to feel sad, I told V that K is still immature and that it would be better to break up and leave the poor fellow alone.

I also said that their relationship was a mere desire to have and enjoy (puppy) love. But V didn’t get what I was really trying to say....

Lost in Sea of Love

BEING the perfect friend and gentleman has unfortunately changed the course of love.

The girl you have been waiting for has fallen for another because she probably never guessed your feelings for her.

But why should you be so surprised? You waited four years without showing her any affection. Then you played big brother and best buddy when she fell in love with another bloke.

A man who was truly, madly in love would never have been so magnanimous as to allow the girl of his dreams to fall for another.

And now that her boyfriend has decided to call it quits, you continue to be the kind, caring platonic confidant. How do you hope to ever get your gal?

She does not need you to explain K’s immaturity or quash her pain by telling her it was puppy love.

Sure, she needs your shoulder to lean and cry on. But what kind of man are you to “die inside” while pretending to be cool and indifferent?

There must be moments when you had every chance to tell her you’re the best guy for her?

Sorry, but you are just a wimp when it comes to love. If you never learn to fight for what you want, you will always end up on the sidelines watching you life roll by.

Your girl will find someone else and you would probably continue to sigh and whine, filled with regrets and self-remorse for never having the guts to bare your heart and feelings.