asiaone
Diva
updated 30 Apr 2012, 17:36
user id password
Thu, 15 Dec 2011
The New Paper
Email Print Decrease text size Increase text size
Men and women in Singapore equally unfaithful
by Zaihan Mohamed Yusof

 

Nancy* dearly loves her husband.

She cannot imagine life without the man, a company director five years older than her - but she simply falls for new men who pay attention to her.

Each of her love affairs last a short time before she, wrecked with guilt, would end it, praying that her husband would never find out. There were close calls, but she has explained her way out of trouble.

Nancy, who works in the media industry, has sworn time and time again that it would be the "last one".

She has lost count of the number of lovers she's had.

Svelte, with long flowing hair, Nancy insists she's no seductress. Dressed modestly in her executive clothes, Nancy doesn't search for prey in watering holes.

Each of her lovers has been a man she meets on the job. They are successful, confident and often, married.

And they go after her first, she says.

Sexual equality has hit a perverse note here, according to a recent Durex survey. About one in five men cheat on their partner.

The same number of women fall prey to cheating.

Says Nancy: "I have intense feelings for my lover...I think I thrive on them thinking that I am great, desirable and sexy... The attention also makes me feel loved."

Nancy's story demonstrates another of the condom manufacturer's findings. Men tend to have casual sex on the sly, while women take on lovers.

Brian*, 40, is just like Nancy. And like her, Brian told this paper he simply cannot stop philandering, but for him, it's more physical.

He knows what he is doing is morally wrong. Getting caught with the fresh scent of shower gel or perfume on his body would be disastrous.

So he smokes to mask any scent that could betray his rendezvous.

Brian dreads the thought of his wife, a housewife in her 30s, finding out about his two-timing ways.

Yet recognising right from wrong has never been an issue for Brian, who has slept with at least 20 women since his marriage.

He adds: "To me, it (sex with a prostitute) is an emotionless transaction and a way to de-stress.

"I move from one girl to the next like you would when buying maybe a toothbrush. When you're done, you pay for a new one.

"Despite my cheating, I still love my wife. My family comes first."

Well, maybe not all the time.

During one Chinese New Year eve, Brian felt the urge to have sex, but not with his wife.

"I managed to have one 'session' before rushing back for the reunion dinner," Brian reveals.

As he was a little late, his family had waited for him before starting dinner.

Psychologists and psychiatrists say people like Brian and Nancy continue to cheat for various reasons.

Some do it out of sexual frustration with their current partners, finding their own sex life boring. For others, deep unresolved emotional issues, like bonding difficulties, become a factor.

The news that both men and women (20 per cent of them) cheat is hardly surprising, says psychiatrist Tommy Tan.

Cheating is an innate quality in humans, he says.

Dr Tan, from Novena Psychiatry Clinic, says: "It's nothing unusual. Even birds, who are said to be paired for life, fool around in the animal kingdom.

Read the full story here.

Click on the thumbnails to see some of the findings from a poll conducted by Durex, which involved 29,000 people across 36 countries.

 

*names have been changed to protect their identities.

prev next
Men in Thailand have the highest rate of infidelity in the region with 54 per cent of men who are unfaithful. Malaysia has 33 per cent, and Indonesia has 13 per cent. (Graphics: TNP)
Hide Thumbnails
readers' comments


now, this is what i call acting. :rolleyes:
Posted by A_Commoner on Fri, 6 Jan 2012 at 17:21 PM


I dun know taiji. :confused:
Posted by goondoon on Fri, 6 Jan 2012 at 17:08 PM


your taiji very gooda. :D
Posted by A_Commoner on Fri, 6 Jan 2012 at 17:00 PM


If you want to compare who darker. Then the role has to go to Mr Bao. :D
Posted by goondoon on Fri, 6 Jan 2012 at 16:56 PM


now that is a lie at best, the black s.hit role is meant for you and for you only. look at your avartar, as black as you want it to be. :D
Posted by A_Commoner on Fri, 6 Jan 2012 at 16:55 PM


Frankly speaking the role Black suit hfourhour better. We have such a great actors but the kettle just back out giving lousy excuses.:mad::D
Posted by goondoon on Fri, 6 Jan 2012 at 16:52 PM


that is bcos you are the sore loser, erh... i mean sore black s.hit. :D
Posted by A_Commoner on Fri, 6 Jan 2012 at 16:49 PM


That why the play never started. :D
Posted by goondoon on Fri, 6 Jan 2012 at 16:44 PM


but ah dun said you are black s.hit, if not he does not want to be in. :D
Posted by A_Commoner on Fri, 6 Jan 2012 at 16:32 PM


I not Black. Black is hfourhour.

As for where is the kettle, today i did not hear his whistle.:D
Posted by goondoon on Fri, 6 Jan 2012 at 16:24 PM

advertisements


asiaone
Copyright © 2012 Singapore Press Holdings Ltd. Co. Regn. No. 198402868E. All rights reserved.