PARENTS tend to forget that learning to write or buttoning a shirt can be difficult for a young child.

"Sometimes we can be impatient with our young children. In this fast-paced life, speed is everything. We want our children to walk, eat, dress, learn and grow up faster," said Dr Goh Chee Leong, dean of the Behavioural Sciences Faculty at HELP University College.

Last Friday, Dutch Lady Malaysia launched World of Effective Learning, a 12-day exhibition aimed at educating parents on the challenges that children aged one to six face. The experiential learning event is organised in association with HELP University College's Child Psychology Department.

"Empathy is an important part of being an effective parent. It is being able to see things from your child's perspective and understand how your child feels, particularly the problems, struggles and difficulties they face in performing the simplest tasks," said Goh.

The exhibition features activities like the "Unsteady Walk", which allows parents to imagine how a child feels when taking her first steps. When adults try to write with the 4ft (1.2m) tall "Giant Pencil" at the exhibition, they will experience the difficulties their kids go through in the early stages of writing.
Children have different learning styles. Parents should try to find what works best for their child.

Goh said parents today faced a fair amount of pressure in terms of their children's education, particularly urban parents.

"They are very conscious of their child's performance and the competition from other students in class, their friends' children or relatives' kids. When their child performs poorly, it's like a loss of face for them," said Goh.

In the first 10 years of a child's life, there are huge variations in her progress, added Goh.

"The pace of development is different in every child. Some are faster, some are slower but in most cases, the child arrives at the same time.

"Parents should think long-term and (be satisfied) as long as the child has had a good education by the time he is 17 or 18.'

Goh stressed that parents' role is to encourage, not pressure, a child to learn. "I don't think parents should be overly stressed or worried when their kids are not the top students in school," he said. "However, parents should take an interest in their child's education. Check their homework, help them prepare for exams and cover the syllabus.

"The key is to motivate children to learn but not pressure them until they hate school and homework, or do homework because they are afraid of their parents," said Goh.

He added that effective learning involves opening a child's mind, curiosity, interest and joy in learning.

"Most children have natural intellectual curiosity. It is important not to kill their joy of learning," he said. Some danger signs of this include a child losing her love of reading, ceasing to ask questions like before or starting to dislike things she used to love, like drawing or doing homework.

The long-term consequence is that the child will lose her natural sense of curiosity and become an adult who does not learn new things unless forced to.

"Some adults lack interest in general issues such as politics, economics or culture, but people who are interested are usually more successful and well-rounded," said Goh.

He also stressed that children have different styles of learning.

"Some children are more visual while others more verbal or action-orientated. Parents should try everything and find the best method for their child."

Obtaining balanced learning and development is the key, said Goh, who highlighted two of the biggest mistakes parents make.

"Parents still tend to emphasise academic development rather than the creative, social, moral and emotional aspects. The work environment today requires well-rounded individuals.

"Secondly, parents do not spend enough time with their children. They need to spend at least an hour of quality interaction a day with their kids, talking, communicating or reading with them," said Goh.

Parents should also make an effort to engage in fun learning activities with their children.

"Ask them what they want to learn today and if it's animals, take them to the zoo or if it's aeroplanes, go to the airport or buy a book. Make sure they have a balanced time-table, which is not just filled with (school work) or indoor entertainment like television or computer games."

Goh said parents need to be firm yet encouraging and understand the developmental stage of their child.

"At each stage there are different behaviours. It is important to engage in their child's learning, which is more than just the school curriculum," he said.