ASIAN couples tend to keep their marital problems to themselves, compared to Westerners.

This is why many Asian husbands fail to seek help when their marriages are suffering. This bid to save face by many married Asian men may be why counsellors see mostly women with marital woes.

Asian men generally do not want to talk about marital problems with a stranger. They feel it is humiliating and some would rather end a marriage than seek help in order to save face.

The ease with which our society allows couples to end their relationships is also a big factor in why our divorce rates are steadily climbing.

If you can produce evidence that your spouse has stayed away from the family for a prolonged period, such as for work overseas, the court can allow for a speedier divorce.

Such exceptions give couples more incentive to file for a quick divorce.

Sadly, some people simply walk out on their families when they cannot handle the pressures and boredom of family life.

Men, in particular, ought to take some of the blame here, as they tend to look for a younger woman if their wives get out of shape after childbirth.

Of course, in any divorce, there are two sides to the coin.

Ambitious Singapore women have also contributed to the problem by focusing too much on work as they climb the corporate ladder.

They do not spend enough time with their spouses and neglect them, contributing to a relationship’s slow, inevitable death.

Hence, it is not surprising that couples where the spouses are aged 40-49 years have registered the highest divorce rates.

This is the time when some men face a mid-life crisis and most marriages plateau or go downhill, as couples spend a lot of time tending to their school-going children.

Many Asians do not communicate well with each other, especially when they have relationship problems. This further compounds the issue.

As Asians, we are taught from young not to argue with our parents and higher authorities.

This attitude carries over into our adulthood and marriages.

We hope that by sweeping problems under the carpet, the storm will blow over. However, this is not possible. It is unsurprising that young people view marriage with disdain and even fear.

As divorce rates rise, the ones who suffer will be the children. I hope that couples whose marriages are under stress will seek help and do so early, before their problems grow more severe.

Most people I know seek assistance at the last minute. However, nothing can be done if a couple have grown cold towards each other.

The break-up of a marriage will bring only misery and hardship to the family and their loved ones.

Divorce should be the last resort for any couple and should be considered only when all other avenues have been exhausted.

For more my paper stories click here.