When Rama Chandran, founder-director of Act 3 Theatrics, wanted to ask actress Amy Cheng to marry him, he had to think a lot more about how to ask her then nine-year-old son, Joshua, than about how to propose to her.

The 54-year-old says: 'I chose to do it when I was walking him to school, so that he wouldn't be too awake and before all the homework tension set in. I really wanted him to be okay with it.'

And the question did not surprise Joshua, now 13 and a student at Fairfield Methodist Secondary School.

'I took about five seconds to process it and then I said yes,' says Joshua, who was the ring-bearer at the wedding of his mother and stepfather in 2005, two years after the couple started dating.

Cheng, 40, had 'always wanted her son to have a complete family' since her divorce from her first husband in 2001.

She has since given birth to a son with Chandran, Jivan, now 20 months old.

She says Joshua, who still enjoys a 'good and healthy relationship' with his biological father, whose surname Quek he bears, took to his stepfather 'naturally'.

While she and Chandran were dating, the three of them often had playdates at places such as Mount Faber and the Botanic Gardens, where they met LifeStyle.

'This place is special for us as we're here every week, even when I was pregnant with Jivan,' she says.

'Chandran proposed to me here and our families would meet here too.'

Amy, given that you raised Joshua by yourself for a few years, how special is your bond with him?

Amy: We have an 'intuition thing' between us. If I want to tell him about something, he can figure it out before I say anything, like the time I was going to tell him that I was pregnant with Jivan.

Joshua: She broke the news to me when I was at the computer.

Amy: I said, 'Hey, Joshua, guess what?'

Joshua: I said, 'You're pregnant.'

Amy: He knows me like that.

How do you spend time together?

Amy: He comes to my room to read and eat fruits.

We watch movies together such as Avatar and Alice In Wonderland. I know he likes Johnny Depp.

Joshua: I like his performance as Captain Jack Sparrow in the Pirates Of The Caribbean series.

So, Joshua, are you so close to your mummy that you tell her your secrets?

Joshua: Not really. Some things that I'm afraid to tell mummy, I will tell my appa (Tamil for dad) instead.

When your classmates find out that your mother is an actress, what do they say?

Joshua: They say: 'Waaaaaa, she's your mummy.' Some will also say that she acts very well and that she's pretty. I take it in my stride and do not brag.

How did you feel knowing that you were going to be a big brother?

Joshua: I was a bit scared that mummy could be bedridden.

Amy: I think he was concerned because of a miscarriage I had before I had Jivan.

Joshua's a wonderful boy - when I was pregnant with Jivan he would help to set up the table and hold my hand when we got out of a taxi.

Are you used to having your brother around now?

Joshua: My little brother is very noisy, so I help to occupy him and calm him down when he gets too excited. I also change his diapers - while holding my breath, of course.

Amy: He's very sweet and very protective of Jivan, especially when people are taking photographs. He's afraid the flash would hurt his eyes and stands around like a bodyguard. I know Jivan's in good hands.

Joshua: I also ask people to sanitise their hands before they touch him.

Has your parenting style changed with Jivan?

Amy: Yes, I'm more mellow. I believe that Chandran balances out my temper and he reminds me that my children are boys.

With Joshua, I was really paranoid about hygiene and his food.

I'm still strict, but I like to think I've evolved. I've stopped checking Joshua's homework since he started Secondary 1. He needs to motivate himself.

With Jivan, it's like I'm starting all over again. I thought it'd be a breeze since I've done it before, but I'm surprised that I've forgotten everything. I'm reading parenting books all over again.

Do you believe in caning?

Amy: No. I caned Joshua once on the hand. I can't remember why I did it, but it did not leave a good impression on him and I felt very bad after I did it.

If the parent-child relationship were reversed, would you do anything differently?

Joshua: If I were the mother, I'd fix the TV so that my son can play the Xbox. It's been broken for half a year. I'd also let my son log on to Facebook every day.

Amy: He's allowed to log on to Facebook only during weekends. If I were Joshua, I'd spend less time on the computer.

This article was first published in The Straits Times.