One may be forgiven for thinking that being Jean Yip's child means being waited on hand and foot.

After all, Ms Yip and her husband Mervin Wee own 58 hair and beauty outlets islandwide and the family lives in a bungalow in Old Holland Road and they have three maids.

But Ms Yip, 51, is quick to insist that she is a 'very strict and result-orientated mother' to her three children.

Eldest child Cheryl Wee, 22, is a psychology major at the National University of Singapore, Rachel, 21, is a science major at the University of Melbourne, and only son Russell, 15, is a student at ACS (International).

Ms Yip, who started working after secondary school, likes to emphasise the importance of having educational qualifications.

She readily admits to 'forcing' Cheryl to return to Singapore to complete her tertiary education in 2006. At that time, her daughter was attending a course in dance, theatre and singing in New York and was all ready to forgo a university education.

'I was angry that I had to come back but I had no choice,' says Cheryl, who was the second runner-up at the Miss Singapore Universe pageant last year and intends to become a singer.

Ms Yip says: 'My children must complete their education first, then I will give my full support to their career choice.''

With your busy schedule, how do you find time to spend with your children?

Jean: When we started the business, we had 60 to 80 customers daily at the salon and we would reach home past midnight almost every day. So it's good that they had my sister, Dawn, who lives with us, to take them around.

But I did not realise that we were spending too much time at work until Cheryl was in Primary 3. Russell was about three years old and we were showering a lot of attention on him, thinking that the girls were older and more independent. Cheryl started to eat a lot and gained 12kg. I remember seeing a family photograph and crying when I saw that she had grown so fat.

That's when we started to talk and realised that they felt neglected. I started to take one day off to spend with my family and to make sure I communicated with the children.

In what way are you 'resultorientated' when it comes to raising your children?

Jean: I would find out about schools such as Julia Gabriel Centre for Learning from my friends and customers and I would want my girls to go for the courses too. I encourage them to try a lot of activities but I emphasise that if they start an activity or class, they have to finish it. There's no such thing as doing something halfway.

Cheryl: Once, for my Chinese test, I scored zero marks. I was too afraid to tell my mother, so I asked my father to sign the test. Of course, when she found out, I got a huge scolding.

How do you think your parenting style has moulded Cheryl's character?

Jean: When she was three, we put her in a nursery since we were always working long hours. I felt very 'hard-hearted' when we dropped her off and walked away, ignoring her crying. I guess she learnt to be independent at a very young age.

We have never given them any curfew. It's become a habit for them to call and tell us what time they'll be home. If they come home much later than expected for no good reason, they won't be allowed to go out the next time.

Of course, you must explain why they are being punished, to make sure that they understand what they did was wrong.

Mervin: I take a softer approach with Cheryl and I think she has learnt that she can get her own way without demanding.

Is there any pressure in being Jean Yip's daughter?

Mervin: Sometimes we get inspiration for fashion from her, so I'm sure there is no pressure.

Cheryl: I think it's more pleasure than pressure. The perks are that I can have any beauty treatment I want, from manicures to my hair.

Jean: I like my daughters to have long hair and I cried when Cheryl had her hair cut short, like her sister's. But I realised that Cheryl had matured when she reassured me that the hair would grow back.

How do you prevent your children from becoming spoilt?

Jean: We get our children involved in the household by doing basic chores such as putting away the dishes, setting up the dining table, preparing utensils or drinks for a party, or helping to pack up after a meal. We tell them the maids are domestic help and not our servants. They are part of our family.

How do you monitor your children's spending habits?

Jean: Credit cards are given only for convenience and they can't spend as they wish, unless it's for something necessary such as grocery shopping. They get a monthly allowance. If it's an unreasonable request, like an expensive branded bag, I would say no.

Cheryl: Our mum buys clothes and bags for us most of the time, so that's how she controls our spending. And sometimes, Rachel and I will share clothes and bags with her.

What advice would you give to parents?

Jean: Never take your children for granted or the bond is lost.

If the parent-child role was reversed, would you do anything differently?

Cheryl: I would do the same thing. My mother is very strong and determined and will do what she wants. I would also want my children to finish their studies. She always encourages us to do our best.

Jean: I may not have been the best mother but I don't think I would have done anything differently.

euniceq@sph.com.sg

This is the start of a fortnightly column

This article was first published in The Sunday Times.